I pray, dear sibling, in the name of Jesus Christ, that God would draw you near and show you the Light of Jesus via His Holy Spirit and show you the Way which is Jesus and Jesus Christ, the Son of God, alone. None of our works will ever please Him, yet if we work in gratitude for the Grace God shed on us by pouring out His wrath for Jesus in our stead, I believe we can all come to a better obedience and servitude to our Master, Jesus Christ. He sees our depravity and He knows our sins, and I know He has the will and the Power to change us into His image. Repent and believe the gospel as it's put. He loves us all that are His. Even the world. Obedience, sibling. Get up and try again. For if He can have mercy on a wretched sinner, as Paul even said, so i also iterate, "of whom I am the chiefest" ; Then i know He won't abandon you.

I pray the Holy Ghost has given me this utterance,

"Get up, my beloved; try again."

Definitely read Romans 7 (kjv preferably) Paul felt the exact same way you feel now when he wrote that chapter, I do believe.

My own brethren have led me there when I've felt my most wretched.