You don't have to join the military... You can. It does re arrange how you structure your life in a good way when you are completely lost. You don't seem to be that though. Find a trade everyone uses daily. Like plumbing or electricity. [Electrician or Plumber] those are just two examples, many exist outside of unions. Work in that. MAKE/CREATE/DO a job that you can [want too] go to everyday. Even if it changes tomorrow. Just keep moving up and forward. Pray.
God will give back the moth-eaten years. Do you forgive your parents? This will be a good start. Even if they don’t reciprocate. You need to forgive them, pray for them and give them over to God.
Learning a trade can be good. Find a good Bible believing Church (preferably reformed) and try to find someone who will take you under their wing. Surround yourself with good Christians.
Formerly abused 50yo here. It took me years to get to realise my interactions with others were vitiated by my older siblings relation to me. I left my parents home at 20. Best decision of my life.
Budgetize your independant life then find the right job. Most of the time, bartending in a remote location will do. Flip burgers if you must but do it the most perfect way everytime so you can work your way higher on the food chain.
Whatever job you choose, invest on knowledge/books on your spare time. Find that someone special and invest in a better life together.
Wow! MichaelGioIreland, you already seem to be on a great path. Your newfound love for your baby nephew will only engender more love, which will then reciprocate and magnify. Stay positive and grateful, and keep praying! There’s a big world outside of Commiefornia (love your spelling of that state) that need your talents and service. Make a list of things you love to do, and figure out your passion. If you don’t know what your passion is, pray for guidance and it will come to you. Dream big. However, if you are desperate to leave your toxic household, I’d suggest enlisting in the military, which, of course, is a major commitment. If not, apply for any job you can think of! Please keep the board posted on your new endeavors. Prayers up to you! GODSPEED
Praise God in all things. Once you are born again and baptized, the Holy Spirit will be with you at all times. Build your strength through daily Bible reading and constant prayer. There’s no reason you shouldn’t read completely through the Bible at least once per year (twice is better!).
Having established a strong relationship with God, then join the navy. Don’t join the marine corp. They will only teach you to fire a rifle. The navy will teach you a real trade and make a man of you.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.✝️
I will be praying for you and your family. Get in the Word of God. God Saves all. Sounds like you could benefit from some counseling. Keep your chin up and it takes time to talk to family in the proper way and you may never be able to. With God it will get better. God Bless!
You are an inspiration! And you are right - it’s best to not be around further abuse. I don’t know if your parents will ever be able to discuss the abuse, especially since they don’t admit it ever happened. You can love and forgive them from afar. I agree with Railroad Wildflower about the Navy! Congratulations on being an uncle! I bet that little one will think that you “hung the moon and taught it to shine!”
Once you get out of your parents, and your life seems to be secure, I feel it is very important for you to have tough discussions with your brother who has a child. If you’re a parents or abusive with you, are they abusive with your other siblings? I know it is difficult facing what you have faced, but abuse Chatterley continues in a family, because people are too afraid to deal with the pain and confront those who have been the abusers. It is very common for other siblings or family members to deny what happened to you. But the most important thing right now is for you to be well and safe and secure. After that you have a nephew to think about. Once you leave the home, they may need to find another person to abuse. Breaking that dichotomy, could potentially put the child at risk. Although the child is not your personal responsibility, I feel it’s very necessary for you to have a serious conversation with your brother. All you can do is speak the truth, in love, and hope that he listens. I pray for your safety your family safety and the safety of your nephew. Just think, you may be the one thing, or the one person to make a difference in this child’s life, that could potentially be just as difficult as yours was. Count it an honor and a blessing to be able to keep him from having and experiencing some of the pain that you’ve gone through. God bless you you are brave and strong.
Thank you for the prayers. I will talk to my brother soon about parenting. I've been reading about the Inuit parenting without yelling or aggression to the children and I hope he is receptive. Hopefully, we can later talk about what happened to me and him and how to handle my parents being around his son.
I don’t know if you guys are Christian or not, but when I had my daughter I was a single mother. I just got knocked drugs, and wanted a better life for my child. The church that I was going to have the time had a class called growing kids gods way. It was the best class I’ve ever taken in regards to raising children. One of the things that they had and there were choices and consequences. He would set up boundaries and choices in advance, at the right age you can even ask your children what the consequences should be for their actions. Generally children will choose how much harsher consequence than a parent will, and you can work with them through that. Once we had this system in place, I rarely had to hold my daughter accountable for her actions, or apply a consequence. She was very smart and she understood how the system worked. It was a joy and a pleasure raising my daughter, because using this system there were no punishments. There is no such thing as punishment. It was basically a consequence for choice that was being made. Being a mother was my biggest pleasure, and I hope that your brother and wife can come up with something like this. At the very least, you can, with your nephew, when he’s in your presence or visiting or having sleepovers. I can’t explain to you that having the burden lifted of disciplining, and punishment, off of our shoulders, how different parenting can be. It also teaches the valuable lesson of doing the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do. More people in the world should hold true to that that virtue, and if they did we wouldn’t be going through what we are right now in America. God bless you and have a great day!
I am sure you sometimes feel alone...don't. There are many who have been where you are. Find a good therapy group. It helps. And it's sometimes a good place to make contact with others, who may be able to find you a better job. I like the vocational idea atomchurch suggested too. pray...
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
By: Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
My best friend dealt with a lot of verbal/emotional abuse with her parents. She said this book really helped her learn how to set healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries is crucial especially in abusive situations.
In addition to this, keep going to God. Pray for his help and guidance. Read your Bible. If joining a church isn't possible, find some good sermons to watch online to help you learn and grow. (Just steer clear of Joel Osteen)
Lord,
I thank you for Michael. I thank you for the work You have already been doing in his life and how You are softening his heart. Father, I ask that you help him to establish healthy boundaries with his parents. Help him to find a better living situation and some good Christian brothers and sisters to walk alongside him.
Lord, I ask You to show Michael which path is best for him right now and what Your ultimate plan is for his life. Please open and close doors to lead him to where You want him to be. Lord, please place people in his life to help him along the way. Help him to grow in his new relationship with You, and please continue to soften his heart and heal his deep emotional hurts the way only You can. Give him strength and peace while he is still in this difficult living situation. Please protect him, Lord. It's in Jesus' name I pray. Amen
Never give up. God is always with you and will always love you. I am a fellow Commiefornian trying to find work since the lockdowns began. Keep the faith, not just in the plan but also in yourself to walk the path you know you need to. Don't ever give up. God speed my fren. You are going to do great things.
You don't have to join the military... You can. It does re arrange how you structure your life in a good way when you are completely lost. You don't seem to be that though. Find a trade everyone uses daily. Like plumbing or electricity. [Electrician or Plumber] those are just two examples, many exist outside of unions. Work in that. MAKE/CREATE/DO a job that you can [want too] go to everyday. Even if it changes tomorrow. Just keep moving up and forward. Pray.
^atomchurch is right.
And you don’t need to borrow money - you give up control when you owe, and right now you need more control, not less.
Mike Rowe’s organization helps young men connect with valuable work - good paying trades: https://www.mikeroweworks.org/
Agree completely./
Thank you. I will consider learning a trade.
You will have prayers from me backing you. Lord knows I needed them when I had too do this at 16.
God will give back the moth-eaten years. Do you forgive your parents? This will be a good start. Even if they don’t reciprocate. You need to forgive them, pray for them and give them over to God.
Learning a trade can be good. Find a good Bible believing Church (preferably reformed) and try to find someone who will take you under their wing. Surround yourself with good Christians.
Formerly abused 50yo here. It took me years to get to realise my interactions with others were vitiated by my older siblings relation to me. I left my parents home at 20. Best decision of my life.
Budgetize your independant life then find the right job. Most of the time, bartending in a remote location will do. Flip burgers if you must but do it the most perfect way everytime so you can work your way higher on the food chain.
Whatever job you choose, invest on knowledge/books on your spare time. Find that someone special and invest in a better life together.
Thank you for the advice.
Wow! MichaelGioIreland, you already seem to be on a great path. Your newfound love for your baby nephew will only engender more love, which will then reciprocate and magnify. Stay positive and grateful, and keep praying! There’s a big world outside of Commiefornia (love your spelling of that state) that need your talents and service. Make a list of things you love to do, and figure out your passion. If you don’t know what your passion is, pray for guidance and it will come to you. Dream big. However, if you are desperate to leave your toxic household, I’d suggest enlisting in the military, which, of course, is a major commitment. If not, apply for any job you can think of! Please keep the board posted on your new endeavors. Prayers up to you! GODSPEED
Thank you
Praise God in all things. Once you are born again and baptized, the Holy Spirit will be with you at all times. Build your strength through daily Bible reading and constant prayer. There’s no reason you shouldn’t read completely through the Bible at least once per year (twice is better!).
Having established a strong relationship with God, then join the navy. Don’t join the marine corp. They will only teach you to fire a rifle. The navy will teach you a real trade and make a man of you.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.✝️
Thank you. I will being reading the Bible everyday.
I will be praying for you and your family. Get in the Word of God. God Saves all. Sounds like you could benefit from some counseling. Keep your chin up and it takes time to talk to family in the proper way and you may never be able to. With God it will get better. God Bless!
Thank you for the prayers.
You are an inspiration! And you are right - it’s best to not be around further abuse. I don’t know if your parents will ever be able to discuss the abuse, especially since they don’t admit it ever happened. You can love and forgive them from afar. I agree with Railroad Wildflower about the Navy! Congratulations on being an uncle! I bet that little one will think that you “hung the moon and taught it to shine!”
Thank you. I will look into the Navy.
Once you get out of your parents, and your life seems to be secure, I feel it is very important for you to have tough discussions with your brother who has a child. If you’re a parents or abusive with you, are they abusive with your other siblings? I know it is difficult facing what you have faced, but abuse Chatterley continues in a family, because people are too afraid to deal with the pain and confront those who have been the abusers. It is very common for other siblings or family members to deny what happened to you. But the most important thing right now is for you to be well and safe and secure. After that you have a nephew to think about. Once you leave the home, they may need to find another person to abuse. Breaking that dichotomy, could potentially put the child at risk. Although the child is not your personal responsibility, I feel it’s very necessary for you to have a serious conversation with your brother. All you can do is speak the truth, in love, and hope that he listens. I pray for your safety your family safety and the safety of your nephew. Just think, you may be the one thing, or the one person to make a difference in this child’s life, that could potentially be just as difficult as yours was. Count it an honor and a blessing to be able to keep him from having and experiencing some of the pain that you’ve gone through. God bless you you are brave and strong.
Thank you for the prayers. I will talk to my brother soon about parenting. I've been reading about the Inuit parenting without yelling or aggression to the children and I hope he is receptive. Hopefully, we can later talk about what happened to me and him and how to handle my parents being around his son.
I don’t know if you guys are Christian or not, but when I had my daughter I was a single mother. I just got knocked drugs, and wanted a better life for my child. The church that I was going to have the time had a class called growing kids gods way. It was the best class I’ve ever taken in regards to raising children. One of the things that they had and there were choices and consequences. He would set up boundaries and choices in advance, at the right age you can even ask your children what the consequences should be for their actions. Generally children will choose how much harsher consequence than a parent will, and you can work with them through that. Once we had this system in place, I rarely had to hold my daughter accountable for her actions, or apply a consequence. She was very smart and she understood how the system worked. It was a joy and a pleasure raising my daughter, because using this system there were no punishments. There is no such thing as punishment. It was basically a consequence for choice that was being made. Being a mother was my biggest pleasure, and I hope that your brother and wife can come up with something like this. At the very least, you can, with your nephew, when he’s in your presence or visiting or having sleepovers. I can’t explain to you that having the burden lifted of disciplining, and punishment, off of our shoulders, how different parenting can be. It also teaches the valuable lesson of doing the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do. More people in the world should hold true to that that virtue, and if they did we wouldn’t be going through what we are right now in America. God bless you and have a great day!
Thank you
I am sure you sometimes feel alone...don't. There are many who have been where you are. Find a good therapy group. It helps. And it's sometimes a good place to make contact with others, who may be able to find you a better job. I like the vocational idea atomchurch suggested too. pray...
Thank you. I am looking into trade jobs now.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life By: Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
My best friend dealt with a lot of verbal/emotional abuse with her parents. She said this book really helped her learn how to set healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries is crucial especially in abusive situations.
In addition to this, keep going to God. Pray for his help and guidance. Read your Bible. If joining a church isn't possible, find some good sermons to watch online to help you learn and grow. (Just steer clear of Joel Osteen)
Lord,
I thank you for Michael. I thank you for the work You have already been doing in his life and how You are softening his heart. Father, I ask that you help him to establish healthy boundaries with his parents. Help him to find a better living situation and some good Christian brothers and sisters to walk alongside him.
Lord, I ask You to show Michael which path is best for him right now and what Your ultimate plan is for his life. Please open and close doors to lead him to where You want him to be. Lord, please place people in his life to help him along the way. Help him to grow in his new relationship with You, and please continue to soften his heart and heal his deep emotional hurts the way only You can. Give him strength and peace while he is still in this difficult living situation. Please protect him, Lord. It's in Jesus' name I pray. Amen
Thank you for your prayers. I will look into that book.
Buddy, there's not much I can do for you. But I am saying a prayer for you right now. God bless and Godspeed!
Thank you
Never give up. God is always with you and will always love you. I am a fellow Commiefornian trying to find work since the lockdowns began. Keep the faith, not just in the plan but also in yourself to walk the path you know you need to. Don't ever give up. God speed my fren. You are going to do great things.