that's disgusting that people witnessed you being physically attacked and did nothing, not even to speak up. im a very much an alpha type so pretty certain I'd have attempted to de-escalate the situations if they were physical
I believe that we really have to accept responsibility for many of the bad things these happen to us. i say bad, but if you are a great humble considerate person now, than these experiences play into the essence of your character. I'm not suggesting you are anywhere near solely to blame for your abuse and that this guy/s aren't (or perhaps weren't if they've changed their ways) majorly at fault. what i might ask myself if i were you or if i were someone close to you...how did you come to allow this person into your heart? did you allow disrespectful behaviors to get progressively worse? did you act cruel toward him? to be clear I'm not suggesting you would have deserved to be hit by a man if you were cruel or otherwise an instigator, but i would say that you added fuel to a fire that you maybe should've known could be very dangerous.
i say this only with love and as constructive criticism for all people whatever dilemmas they find themselves in to recognize that we all have free will to allow or not allow people in our lives except for very rare scenarios. all of our behaviors are responsible through the butterfly effect of how others react
I understand why you ask because I've seen some horrible women who mistreat their men. I am very soft spoken, meek and timid. I have a bit of a stutter too.
The man has a long history of abuse including with his mom, his parents, even a room mate. I think he's bi polar. Reasons why he'd hit me would be for making too much noise cleaning, breaking something in the kitchen by accident like a glass. In public, he wanted me to take out a loan at a bank and I forgot my social security number off the top of my head that day. The bank told me there was nothing they can do and he punched me in the lip on the way out where there were people around. I started crying and he told me to hide it when we went to the next place.
Why I put up with it, I have very low self esteem when I'm with other people. I grew up alone in a household and thought I deserved it all. I left him when he started threatening our new born baby because I had no choice. Even if I hated myself, she didn't deserve it. That was 9 years ago and I haven't dated since except for one or two when I pushed myself but I was too nervous it wasn't worth it.
On the plus side, despite that and going in and out of a womans battery shelter, it has helped me to recognize god and have faith in humanity. I chant the Jesus Prayer in Slavonic when I clean because it sounds so beautiful to me. I think going through all that has also brought be here and to see what's going on in the world.
however we get here, as tough as the road may be, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and better, if we want to become better. you have wanted to be better (hmm, isn't this Melanie's tag line?)
best wishes my fren, you seem very much at peace now with your psychological disposition
my 2 cents if your open to it
that's disgusting that people witnessed you being physically attacked and did nothing, not even to speak up. im a very much an alpha type so pretty certain I'd have attempted to de-escalate the situations if they were physical
I believe that we really have to accept responsibility for many of the bad things these happen to us. i say bad, but if you are a great humble considerate person now, than these experiences play into the essence of your character. I'm not suggesting you are anywhere near solely to blame for your abuse and that this guy/s aren't (or perhaps weren't if they've changed their ways) majorly at fault. what i might ask myself if i were you or if i were someone close to you...how did you come to allow this person into your heart? did you allow disrespectful behaviors to get progressively worse? did you act cruel toward him? to be clear I'm not suggesting you would have deserved to be hit by a man if you were cruel or otherwise an instigator, but i would say that you added fuel to a fire that you maybe should've known could be very dangerous.
i say this only with love and as constructive criticism for all people whatever dilemmas they find themselves in to recognize that we all have free will to allow or not allow people in our lives except for very rare scenarios. all of our behaviors are responsible through the butterfly effect of how others react
best wishes fren
I understand why you ask because I've seen some horrible women who mistreat their men. I am very soft spoken, meek and timid. I have a bit of a stutter too.
The man has a long history of abuse including with his mom, his parents, even a room mate. I think he's bi polar. Reasons why he'd hit me would be for making too much noise cleaning, breaking something in the kitchen by accident like a glass. In public, he wanted me to take out a loan at a bank and I forgot my social security number off the top of my head that day. The bank told me there was nothing they can do and he punched me in the lip on the way out where there were people around. I started crying and he told me to hide it when we went to the next place.
Why I put up with it, I have very low self esteem when I'm with other people. I grew up alone in a household and thought I deserved it all. I left him when he started threatening our new born baby because I had no choice. Even if I hated myself, she didn't deserve it. That was 9 years ago and I haven't dated since except for one or two when I pushed myself but I was too nervous it wasn't worth it.
On the plus side, despite that and going in and out of a womans battery shelter, it has helped me to recognize god and have faith in humanity. I chant the Jesus Prayer in Slavonic when I clean because it sounds so beautiful to me. I think going through all that has also brought be here and to see what's going on in the world.
however we get here, as tough as the road may be, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and better, if we want to become better. you have wanted to be better (hmm, isn't this Melanie's tag line?)
best wishes my fren, you seem very much at peace now with your psychological disposition