Anyone else having a really hard time being conscious about everything going on? I haven't felt the same since covid. I feel like I am living in some dystopia nightmare that is slowly getting worse and worse. I am plagued by anxieties about self consciousness and existence. Not sure if anyone else has had these issues.
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By existentialism and self-awareness, I mean the concepting of knowing my consciousness is a thing. I find myself spiraling in a torment of questioning how am I me and not you? Where did time begin? Why am I here? What happens after I die? I questions if this is all prewritten and I am just going through the motions. Being aware of what is going on in the world makes it feel futile to try to resist. It all just seems so overwhelming.
Time to open the Bible fren. It is convincing, and if you do your own research you’ll come to see that Jesus is true and He has the answers for us.
Yes .... I know the feeling! Been there done that.
From that experience, allow me to impart something that will help. All these thoughts and questions come from the mind. Your thinking in combination with your emotions play a trick on you.
Try this:
The Past does not exist. The future does not exist.
How you know this? Simply: do you still live 5 minutes ago? 1 minute ago? 2 seconds ago?
You mind plays a game on you, as you can vividly recall the images of the past. You can envision the future with extrapolations, hypothesis and theories.
You live exactly now, in this moment.
And it is now, in this moment, the basis of your being is. Try it!
Many people like the sun rise or the sun set. They set themselves down and watch without judgement and words of the beautiful painting unfolding before our eyes. in such moments, we let go of our expectations, our wants, our sorrows and our pre-occupations. our focus is in the NOW, where words are absent.
Listen and watch a bee visit flowers. And should it rain, go outside and let it rain on you. Feel it, accept it, let it totally soak you. Sniff up the air and perfume of slightly wet mud and grass, the perfume of flowers, the song of the birds, the sound of the tree leaves as they bend with the wind. Hear the crickets, and when you can focus your attention even more, the silence between it all. No words, no judgement, no thought.
In that silence, where your mind is relegated to it's proper place, you will find peace, joy and love, connection and meaning.
Take as much time as you need. And if you commute from one place to the next: stop half way and go somewhere you do not know.
The trick is to recognize this is traveling with you, wherever you ARE, IF you can bring yourself to be NOW.
When you make a habit of doing this, you will find it comes easier to be in that state. You will notice people who are bent on eliciting an emo response from you, to entice you into remaining in thinking. Once you become cognizant of that, you will note how pathetic (sic) these people are, and you'll notice how to influence them into the right frame of being. (note I did not say: frame of mind = legal)
This is only an initial stage of become aware. It will ground you firmly. Your ego (thinking en emotion) will take begrudgingly a back seat and will try to pop up anytime you let go. That is ok. Tell them to fuck off and focus your attention in the now.
And while you focus: breath. It will come naturally but may feel strange at first.
Iceman, Wim Hof, has some breathing exercises. Try it. You will feel your blood high on oxygen, bubbling and teaming with life, it will enhance the communication between your cells, using the natural pathways. And while you do that, your energy will change, and you will communicate differently with the world around you.
I know, it does not answer rationally the questions and burdens of the day. What it does it answers the questions from your own wisdom, deeply buried within you.
Based on these experiences I wanted to know more about my own energetic makeup. I went into Human Design, and discovered rationally what I had known intuitively, but could now put in words and make a plan to live according to my makeup, and prevent the pitfalls of living according to what I am not.
And while I lost a few of my old friends, new friends came into my life without any effort, where reciprocal enrichment exists. Although, I have to say, those people I "lost"? They came back, but under different conditions. I now put limits on where I go with them. They say: you've changed.
On independence Day, I organized a BBQ on my boat, and i was talking to one of these old friends. During our conversation I pointed out to him what I had sensed was the problem he was wrestling with in those days we had met before. Now, I said, I can tell you how it affected me, and why it no longer does. You unwittingly showed me what I had to do. And I love you for it.
He cried, because for the first time in 30 years, he felt he was seen.
Pain, hunger, thirst, nervous overload, do not come from the mind, those are experiences in the now, a signal that we need healing, nourishment, peace. It is what our mind makes it to be, and the e - motions that become manifest in us, that tend to make us suffer.
And while you are grounding yourself, try to find reasons to be grateful. That small moment in time where you were able to disconnect from the noise called living in a modern society. To your heart for still doing its job and allowing you to live. If you were to make a list of things to be grateful for, what you really feel as such, that list initially may be small. But .... you will soon run out of paper.
Try it, and let me know your experience.
Well, we really are under attack on numerous fronts. Along with prayer, I would suggest getting your mind off the problems for a while. Sun, exercise, friends and activities can wash out some of the funk.