As August approaches, I am about to turn 30 and this past year has been an insanely stressful year for me. It really started on August 7th, 2020. My best friend of 15 years and fellow patriot that I red pilled back in 2016, passed away suddenly from a heart attack at 32 years old. I was completely devasted by this loss and my girlfriend of 2 years, who was newly pregnant at the time, wasn't very loving or supportive, it just came across as fake, probably because she didn't like my best friend but it really made me start to question her morals. Fast forward to the beginning of December, one night she's acting weird at home on our couch and when I question her on what's going on, she tells me she's going to get an abortion because at the time we were both living paycheck to paycheck. California is ridiculously expensive in the major city I live in. I was job hunting every week while working full time. When she told me she was going to abort my child my first child I lost it on her and cussed her out and called her a bunch of shit and got very emotional and she gathered some things and left to her mothers house over an hour away. From there she went through with the murder of my child at a planned parenthood. I couldn't believe it, but my.love was so strong that I decided that maybe going to couples therapy would help us move past all this crazy shit and it ends up coming out in therapy that she blames me for the abortion and says I promised her she wouldn't have to work and that she could be a stay at home mom and I never followed through so she felt there was no other option. 2 months later I land a great job and get hired and now have the money to raise a child without any government assistance... After 7 months of trying to fix things with her she finally blocked me on everything and won't speak to me anymore. My friends tell me as fucked up as it was what she did it was a blessing in disguise because she's obviously mentally unstable and needs to be on medication. But it still fuckin hurt, I'm broken right now emotionally. Now I'm alone and just working on myself, getting back into the gym now that they are open again. I would appreciate any fellow patriot’s advice (men or women) I think having an outside opinion from someone who doesn't know me would be extremely helpful. I'm really fucked up over all this, I've been drinking a lot. I just don't know how to begin to let go because everything happened so quickly and the woman I thought I was going to marry just destroyed my life.
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Not marrying her may have saved your life. Really. Find some outlet besides lonely drinking. Go help people who are suffering and more scared than you are, it will help you see your life more clearly. Maybe small town living would suit your spirit better, too. You are young. Make all the years ahead, count. Your intentions have been to do what is right and honorable. You don't own anyone else's shitty decisions. The child you might have had, can be the child that waits in your future, so go where patriots go and find yourself a good woman, fren.
Sorry for your pain fren... I can sympathize... my wife left me for another man which crushed me... she was a controlling nut job and nobody understood why I married her... I spent a year working on myself physically, emotionally and spiritually... once I reached a point where I had no more feelings for her (good or bad) I was able to move on in a healthy way... dated around until I found a stable-minded woman and we eventually got married and are still married after 13 yrs... hang in there fren and give yourself plenty of time to heal and try not to drink too much
That sounds extraordinarily difficult. You haven’t really been given much of a break between the hits. I don’t think you’re necessarily looking for my advice on how to move forward, but I did at least want to caution you about the alcohol.
No alcoholic can tell you the day they had a problem. It sneaks up on you, especially in emotionally-difficult times when it helps you numb up with what’s going on. If you’re not careful, dealing with a drinking problem later will become its own little saga in your life, and it’s not a pleasant one. You don’t want to be dependent on anything that can hurt you as bad as alcohol does.
Take care, and remember that the person you were before you found this woman… eventually found her. The person you are now, without her, is just as capable of finding something or someone else to make you feel that way again.
This!! 👆👆
I've known several people who's life became permanently derailed after their marriage or relationship failed. All of them became obsessed with fantasies about a what may have been or what they should have done differently. None of them understood that relationships can fail even when you've made no mistakes.
Please focus on the fun memories and new experiences and what you learned and understand that all things end, some sooner rather than later.
Life is a roller-coaster for everyone.
My advice is to stop drinking immediately. The moment it becomes part the center of your nightly routine is the moment you have become an alcoholic.
Life is a tragedy and sucks! I am sorry you are having to experience this pain and disappointment! I too have suffered a great deal in life, and the ONLY reason my suffering was extended - was because I walked away from God! Take it from me and please learn from my mistakes! Read Gods word daily! Find a Bible believing church, and attend regularly! Find it in your heart to forgive her, AND MOVE ON! The Lord has Great plans for your life, and they do not include your former girl. YOU WILL see your child in heaven one day - so rest assured knowing that. Don’t let the enemy deceive you with his lies! Jesus loves you so much, just press into Him and see what God can do in your life! Don’t waste 10 Yrs like I did! Blessings to you and your future!
I'm 70 but I still recall the day my first girlfriend dumped me. It was like having flu for a fortnight. Gradually I began to feel better and within months I was going out with a different girl who married me and is still my wife.
You need distractions but not alcohol or drugs. As someone else has said, church is good if only for the social side.
Dude, don't be a simp there's better women out there
Damn, dude. 😬. Eyes on God, and pray. Proverb 31 is a good outline for what to look for. Pray pray pray. Find someone who believes as you do, for that is the foundation. And It's all God's gig anyways. I am sorry to hear she did that, and blames her choice as your fault, very sad. I have a 10yr old out there somewhere over a similar situation. Mormon girls are fun till their parents got you at gunpoint... oh to be 20 again.
And before I forget, the little one went straight back to the Father. So there's comfort to be found in that fact. Peace and Grace fren.
Wow shit, man. Fuck! I dont think i have the meaningful type words bc that's fucked as all hell! I mean your friends are right dodging the bullet of being w someone like that but for u, not thinking shed do that, & youd be together thru whatever must be hell! All i have to offer is that u are most def NOT alone....even on the damn internet. We could say yadda yadda shes obviously too much this or that bc most peeps , at least that i know wouldnt do that considering u were there for her & baby, but damn, sooooooooo sorry for your loss!! I am bad at this but we are here. I tend to drink thru my issues as well.....and as im sure you know as u sound like u have a brain, dont overdo and keep your life in tact the best u can.God bless u.
I cannot be there for you in person, but I send you hugs and good thoughts. It is hard to hear, but give yourself a bit of time to Heal and regain your sense of Self. Lick your wounds. Nothing wrong with getting shit-faced every now and then, but don’t let it interfere with your new, excellent job! Congratulations! Know that you are a Beautiful and Good person. When you are ready, put out a Call to the Universe for your Life Mate. Ask for characteristics you WANT. Fundamental, essential characteristics! The appropriate aesthetics will automatically go along with the fundamentals. Do not ask for what you DON’T want. I know that you will find your life Partner (real “Partner”!) when both of you are ready for it, and it will be WONDERFUL. I look forward to that with you! In the meantime, keep your chin up, (drink lots of WATER), and know that you will find someone worthy of you. The pain will pass. Hugs.
Please find a local Christian church. Put God first in everything. Your testimony, although painful right now is just a stepping stone in God's plans for you. God uses all evil for good. Find a mens group, share your testimony, lean on your brothers in Christ. They will help you.
God works in mysterious ways. He will guide you if you lean on Him.
I am sorry. Just know with God all things are possible. Much love 💗