Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some tips re: how to have a close, connected relationship with my wife who's asleep. We have been drifting further apart since I started waking up since November. Do any of you have a GOOD STRONG CONNNECTED relationship with your spouse who's asleep? Any tips?
I'm not looking for tips on how to wake her up because often my attempts to red-pill has caused even more disconnect. I'm looking for tips for how to have a GOOD STRONG CONNECTED relationship despite the awake vs. asleep difference.
For context of our difference, my wife was double-vaxxed ASAP and disregards my conclusions about anything when people in authoritative positions say otherwise. We're both Christians, but it's different now. I think I was spiritually woken up and I see the world differently. She's asleep and not interested in waking up and I feel like she wants me to fall back asleep in order to connect. Problem is.. I don't want to go back to sleep. Any tips are appreciated!
If you can’t wake her up and you still love her and want to stay together, then I suggest you both agree not to speak to each other about all this. I really can’t think of another way for you both to stay away from further heartache down the road except not speaking about anything the other doesn’t like to talk about. Hope you two can work it out. My husband knows a lot of this stuff but only wants to talk about it when he brings it up, if I do he gets irritated. I think it’s because all of it pisses him off and he feels there’s nothing he can do, so there’s times he just doesn’t want to think about it. He’s the type of person who wants to fix problems and help but knows there are some things he can’t win with so he finds another way or goes in a different direction. Like if he doesn’t like an aspect of his job, his only options are to either quit or transfer to another area of his work. So that’s the position he’s in now, he’s getting ready to transfer to another area of work within the department where he will have the freedom to do the things he wants to do and his new supervisor is on the same page as my husband, so hopefully it will be a better fit for him and will be less stressful at work.
I'm sorry that your marriage is in such an upside-down state of affairs. Your husband should not be the beta who is always stressed and unable to handle problems. He is your spiritual covering and protector and you are under his authority. I do think, however, that not talking about it is a big problem. If he is in error, then he is not fulfilling his biblical obligations to you as the head of your household. Encourage him to assume the alpha position that God has created for him. Tell him how much you need his guidance and wisdom. Refer him to Ephesians 5 and Timothy 2.