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Attention all Olympians, this is your scheduled service announcement on this day, the 30th of July, Year One of the New World Era. Please listen carefully, compliance is morality.

One — masks are mandatory and must be worn at all times, this includes during all events. The exception is for the Aquatics events, where special purpose snorkeling gear will be provided.

Two — an adjustment will be made to all meals served in the Village, across all halls. Starting tomorrow, eggs will ceased to be served, and will be replaced with powdered protein imported by our benefactor the Gates Foundation, and thank you Mother Earth. The only exception is at Hunter Hall.

Three — congratulations to all Gold medalists, it is an honor to serve your district across the Order. This is a reminder to kindly return your physical metals to be processed. Once return has been verified, your meal tickets will be sent to you and your loved ones.

This is all - honor to all of you and may you be Happy and Safe.

Ding