You have "said" you forgive them but you have not.....its ok to not forgive them, right now, because you grieve the loss your precious child is experiencing.

Let me tell you about forgiveness the Lord asked of me....in 1979

My first husband was abusive. He beat me, shot me, stabbed me and locked me in a room (which he installed bars on the windows, and locks on the door) with our month old infant son. He provided formula for my son and gave me only water. For 7 days I was captive...his sister knew something was wrong and rescued me. I fled with my child and spent 4 months on the run. I hated that man....and I mean HATED him!

For a year I seathed over this. Then I started to receive visions of his death from God. I was instructed that he would burn in hell if I did not do as God instructed...I resisted, but God persisted. For 2 months, every night the vision was the same and my instructions were clear. Finally I could watch his death no more, got up at 3am, went to where I was told to find him, told him of his death and instructed him that if he didn't want to burn for eternity he had to come with me NOW! He knew of my gift and came.

I drove him, in utter silence, to church. Woke up the priest and explained what God instructed. HIS will would be done. On the way home it hit me and before he got out of the car I told him I forgave him. 4 days later he was dead....in the exact manner my visions revealed.

God's forgiveness comes through the blood of Christ...our forgiveness must come from the desire to not withhold from them that which God did not withhold from us for our sins....Lay this burden at God's feet, give it to HIM.....tell him you are too tired and angry to see clearly. Let HIM handle it for you. Do not take it up again...

Then have faith, patience and humility....God will handle it from there and you will have peace.

Blessings fren....