I don’t feel neither fear nor anger, Frens. I feel like i am invisible: unless I start interacting with them, people do not notice my presence. It’s as if they only sense other fearful or angry people. Strange, but also relaxing: I don’t have to cope with their distress and they don’t dare share it as they seem to feel I could neither relate nor offer them solace… Was this Covid social endeavor just God testing my Faith?
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I'm not one to preach. I felt I was agnostic for a little while there years ago. That being said, there is more to this universe than we can possibly imagine. We aren't some cosmic fluke. That's not fear of death talking, it is not a coping mechanism, nor is it the result of being "brainwashed" by some frigging church at a young age.
If you consider the vastness of space and time, you'll come to realize that reading this message is a statistically improbable event in this universe yet here you are reading it. Billions of statistically improbable events came together for me to type this statement while billions of statistically improbable events came together for you to read it. Every single one of those events had some kind of intelligence behind it be it the creation of the transistor, the invention of the internet, or, hell, some great, great, great ancestor meeting another one of your great, great, great ancestors, falling in love, and having children that eventually led to your statistically improbable birth.
Now, considering all of those events that led to a single exchange between two people, why is it such a leap beyond logic to believe God is out there, a creator, responsible for the genesis of these events?
Some people turn away from God after suffering personal tragedy. I've experienced enough of it in my life and, like I said, I turned away from God years ago as a result. However, despite the pain those events caused (and still cause to this day), I'm still here, and, I hope at least, have helped others to avoid mistakes and oversights I've made due to my experience with such pain. Thinking through all of those events that came together to have a conversation with someone that may have helped them avoid problems I faced began to restore my faith in God. I know plenty of people that have helped me throughout life ... some long lectures as well as short, but poignant statements about a mistake I was making made a radical change for the better in my life.
You are free to believe whatever you want of course. I am not preaching to you. I'd like to make that clear. I always hated preaching myself :-). All I'd ask you do is that during these moments you are free of anger is to do some spiritual introspection. Think through all events in your life. See if those events may have changed your life in significant ways that make you the person you are today. You might be amazed by what you learn, and how incredibly improbable it was for those events that shaped your life significantly to occur when they did.
Regardless of what you may ultimately decide, thanks for being here, and thank you for helping to rid this world of scum :-). No matter what we believe, we are all in this together.