Honest question... how did you raise her? What do you think made the difference compared to parents whose kids seem to defy their parents just out of spite
I taught my daughters from an early age to decide things for themselves. Some of it starts with playing a game when they are young. One game we played was, when shopping or on a trip, look at a situation and ask them "is this OK?"
If you see a man wearing hoop earrings... "is this OK?"
Let the child decide if that's OK or not, and then why or why not.
If you see someone cutting in line, or someone walking through a store in a nightgown, or talking loudly... "is this OK?"
You'll be surprised how fast kids can decide for themselves, deciding why something might be OK and when it may not be. It builds up their own sense of judgement.
We also played games of "fashion victim". If you see someone wearing mismatched outfits or some obnoxious thing... ask the child "what 2 things could you change about that outfit... and make it better". Let them decide and explain what is fixable and what should be eliminated or changed.
We also played games of "What would you do". I don't like being anywhere if I am not aware of my surroundings. I'd ask questions if we're in a hotel, or a store, etc... about the main entrance is blocked or the elevator stops working "What would you do? Where would you go?" "If someone came in causing trouble, where would you go?" In a hotel, ask them how many rooms down from us is the stairwell? Could they find it in the dark?
Before long, the kids grow up being more aware of people around them, they notice details, they decide for themselves if a situation is OK or safe or not. They also know how to scan their surroundings and be aware of their situation. They also learn to make up their own mind about what to do "in case of", so they learn to be more prepared. If one of my daughters was being followed in a Walmart, for example, they would know to walk straight to the hardware department and pick up an axe or hatchet, then carry it with them through the store. They would know how to identify which people to approach and tell them that "this guy is following me" (marine tattoos are a good thing to look for).
When they get old enough, teach them how to shoot. Take them to the shooting range, but also make sure they aren't afraid to use shotguns. I teach my kids to decide for themselves and to be aware. You'd be surprised how quickly they figure things out on their own, or decide what limits are OK and when someone is stepping over the line.
Nice job pede. I too believe in letting kids make decisions for themselves and living the consequences. Helicopter parenting creates dependents of state
I hate to tell you there is no one way parenting. Im quite the helicopter at times. Good parenting takes a ton of TIME and teaching and the most important thing is being there and giving all it takes. Im actually the opposite of letting kids decide, I very much decide and these are when/how we teach conceptual understanding of our values. As they grow, yes they start to make some decisions but I cant imagine giving into every whim. So far, have raised one and various ages at home still and all are amazing. My teens wake up on their own every day at 6am to run/work out, read bible together, and do their school work. Im proud of them and for me, Im the opposite of letting them always make decisions, I teach them how. And they are as far as dependents of the state.
Well their personality also plays a part too. I think letting them make as many low - medium stakes decisions as possible is good training for life. Obviously high stakes decisions is still under my watch until they’re fully independent.
Nice job, I have found to any people don't share that they have financial trouble with their kids. I you let them they will think of ways to save money. My friends daughter used to search yard sales for designer jeans for the labels. They would sew the pricey labels on their nice but inexpensive jeans. Kids can be creative
Honest question... how did you raise her? What do you think made the difference compared to parents whose kids seem to defy their parents just out of spite
I taught my daughters from an early age to decide things for themselves. Some of it starts with playing a game when they are young. One game we played was, when shopping or on a trip, look at a situation and ask them "is this OK?"
If you see a man wearing hoop earrings... "is this OK?" Let the child decide if that's OK or not, and then why or why not.
If you see someone cutting in line, or someone walking through a store in a nightgown, or talking loudly... "is this OK?"
You'll be surprised how fast kids can decide for themselves, deciding why something might be OK and when it may not be. It builds up their own sense of judgement.
We also played games of "fashion victim". If you see someone wearing mismatched outfits or some obnoxious thing... ask the child "what 2 things could you change about that outfit... and make it better". Let them decide and explain what is fixable and what should be eliminated or changed.
We also played games of "What would you do". I don't like being anywhere if I am not aware of my surroundings. I'd ask questions if we're in a hotel, or a store, etc... about the main entrance is blocked or the elevator stops working "What would you do? Where would you go?" "If someone came in causing trouble, where would you go?" In a hotel, ask them how many rooms down from us is the stairwell? Could they find it in the dark?
Before long, the kids grow up being more aware of people around them, they notice details, they decide for themselves if a situation is OK or safe or not. They also know how to scan their surroundings and be aware of their situation. They also learn to make up their own mind about what to do "in case of", so they learn to be more prepared. If one of my daughters was being followed in a Walmart, for example, they would know to walk straight to the hardware department and pick up an axe or hatchet, then carry it with them through the store. They would know how to identify which people to approach and tell them that "this guy is following me" (marine tattoos are a good thing to look for).
When they get old enough, teach them how to shoot. Take them to the shooting range, but also make sure they aren't afraid to use shotguns. I teach my kids to decide for themselves and to be aware. You'd be surprised how quickly they figure things out on their own, or decide what limits are OK and when someone is stepping over the line.
Nice job pede. I too believe in letting kids make decisions for themselves and living the consequences. Helicopter parenting creates dependents of state
I hate to tell you there is no one way parenting. Im quite the helicopter at times. Good parenting takes a ton of TIME and teaching and the most important thing is being there and giving all it takes. Im actually the opposite of letting kids decide, I very much decide and these are when/how we teach conceptual understanding of our values. As they grow, yes they start to make some decisions but I cant imagine giving into every whim. So far, have raised one and various ages at home still and all are amazing. My teens wake up on their own every day at 6am to run/work out, read bible together, and do their school work. Im proud of them and for me, Im the opposite of letting them always make decisions, I teach them how. And they are as far as dependents of the state.
Well their personality also plays a part too. I think letting them make as many low - medium stakes decisions as possible is good training for life. Obviously high stakes decisions is still under my watch until they’re fully independent.
Yes. Excellent training.
Wow. GREAT JOB.
You basically taught them, the world is not necessarily a safe place without traumatizing them and giving them endless nightmares.
Nice job, I have found to any people don't share that they have financial trouble with their kids. I you let them they will think of ways to save money. My friends daughter used to search yard sales for designer jeans for the labels. They would sew the pricey labels on their nice but inexpensive jeans. Kids can be creative
Thank you. I will be implementing this on this weekend. I have three grandchildren to teach.