“Let’s take a cute litter of newborn kittens and anally rape them with knives until they are spilling out blood and feces, then let’s smear that blood and feces over their eyes and dunk them in a vat of lemon juice over and over for 24 hours. After that we will record whether they have more or less knots in their fur than the kittens who were more traditionally nursed by their mother. This should only cost the taxpayers $65 to $250 million dollars but should provide us with a lot of invaluable data.” -Scientists