Chef's dad Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.

Chef's mom We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"

Chef's dad It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes,-

Chef's mom Oh, it was so scary!

Chef's dad and I yelled. I said, "What do you want from us, monster?!" And the monster bent down and said, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty." [a long silence follows]

Kyle What's tree-fitty?

Chef's dad Three dollars and fifty cents.

Chef's mom Tree-fitty.

Stan He wanted money?

Chef's dad That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!"

Chef's mom I gave him a dollar.

Chef's dad She gave him a dollar.

Chef's mom I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.

Chef's dad Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!