Oh lord help me lol.
Quick Background: HR hires em', then sends them to my account.
What Happened: So today I was in for a treat apparently. My new employee has arrived and I tell her where to go on the phone.
In walks a obvious lesbian, hair with homemade dyes of every color of the rainbow, pants baggier than most street kids and I'm not even kidding, an overwhelming smell of cat piss.
My underling who knows I'm based AF choked on his coffee and made a quick exit to his office and left me stranded to welcome this new employee lmao.
I'm not even kidding you guys, when we sat down to do paperwork, holy crap this was a shit show. EVERY single page had it's rounds, but the more notable ones I can remember were:
-Social Security #: "I don't want to give you it because it's a capitalist's tracking device."
-$1 a month to a well known Charity we do annual donations to: She marks "no". I ask why: "Your company makes millions of dollars a year and they can donate if they care so much, way more helpful than my dollar."
-Paid Holidays: She freaking crossed out Thanksgiving and wrote Indeginous People's Day
Guys lol, wish me luck on this one! I think I'm going to need it and A LOT of patience.
The lack of soc #, piss smell and unprofessional apparel should end it immediately.
Can't hire her if she won't give up the SSN. How did HR hire her? Don't you get to interview your own team? Talk to HR and say you need to be in the hiring process so you can build a team that will get along and work through issues.
Wow Well good luck getting this one there to start the day. Exactly you have to produce an ID or Drivers License and your actual SSN card for HR, they have to have that in your file.
This would be the immediate push to our "war zone" territory. She would quit before training is over.