I'll send a little prayer out for you and another for for myself as I'm also in the same boat. I reflect on past actions and cannot regret them as I couldnt have been where Im currently at without those trodded paths. At most I will indulge in fantasizing about another decision but know its a bit futile - that ultimately life balances itself no matter what path you take. The challenges are ever persistent, as well as the risks and rewards.

I dont really want children (or maybe just dreading the responsibility lol) but see it as a duty to fufill that was contingent on my existence; respect for my ancestors that got me here require it to be at least attempted to raise a new, better guided version of my lineage.