We're in the shit hole known as Brooklyn, NY. She got the "mandate" from her job, and instead of talking about what to do, she's folding like a cheap suit and is gonna get the goddamn shot.
Hell, she was all gung-ho initially when she got the memo. I told her don't give it, let them fire you then you sue them and win and you can retire (because she's already 67). But no, without even talking to me about any dangers, she's decided she's going to get it.
I've been sick of her retarded, narcissistic, idiotic bullshit for 30 years. I swear, she sometimes seems like she has the IQ of a fucking rock.
But goddamnit, why the fuck can't she just talk to me about it?
My MIL is a narcissist. She had heart surgery and my wife felt obligated to take care of her. She thought her mom was going to die within the year, but I cautioned her to be ready for her to live well into her 90s (she's in her 70s). We sold our house and purchased one in her neighborhood and moved her in with us. This was 5 years ago.
2 vaccines and a booster shot and a steady diet of CNN 24/7 and the woman is still alive and kicking.
I've bitten my tongue for most of the 5 years but I lost control and blew up on her when she tried to tell me she didn't us to switch our mobile plan to a third party carrier that piggybacks off the Verizon network because they didn't have a customer service telephone number.
I was explaining to my wife why I wanted to switch to that service and why it was cheaper (no customer service telephone number) and she decided to interject herself into the conversation and try to take control of the decision. Never mind the fact we were paying for her phone (and my mom's phone) and I work in IT and handle any technical issues that come up.
I tried to brush her off but she wouldn't shut up and I ended up going off after she insulted my family (she doesn't even know them really) and said I had a "poverty mentality" because I wanted to lower our phone bill. I didn't hold back and I let 5 years of pent up frustration out on her, destroying any illusions she may have had of my real opinions of her. I may have even called her a brainwashed communist.
I shouldn't have done it, to be honest, but I've never been more at peace in the aftermath.
Why?
She is now giving me the "silent treatment" and actually believes it's some sort of punishment. That's narcissism in a nut shell right there.
The funny thing is she thinks she's found my buttons now, but it won't even phase me if she goes there again.
We've said very little to each other for the past couple months and she's been holing up in her room until just recently. Part of that is I believe she is honestly afraid of me because I'm unvaccinated and CNN has been warning her about me.
Maybe you should try pushing her buttons about that. Loom over her saying the big bad cold is gonna get her in her sleep.
That's what my sister does. She used to argue with our sick dad - sick as in PD dialysis, heart valves replaced, blood pressure problems, multiple strokes, and she still kept pushing. I got to a point in my childhood that I just didn't like her. I'm cordial but still don't like her.
Wow. Great info Tendie! I lost abdear friend to overdose...years of battling addiction--and fighting/surviving a narcissistic mom. Didn't know any of this at the time...May my friend rest in peace and find the true love she never had growing up...I wish I knew then what I know now...
Sounds like you've either had to live through it, or have loved ones/been in support groups like you said. Yeah, it's fucking rough. It was both of my parents. I think they may have also switched between narc and enabler. They're the type of people that never should have married anybody, let alone have kids.
I just want to tell you- this post was so encouraging to me. I just wrote my in-laws a letter purging them permanently from my life after 25 years. If I tried to write out the mental and emotional anguish over the years it would turn into countless pages... and the worst part is they are covert narcs... but they finally showed their hand and I, guilt free, had the goods to call them on the mat. I haven't even processed the release of stress and the weight coming off of me. It is my guess it may take months to fully step into the glorious remainder of my life with them out of it. I'm so grateful to be free.
You clearly have experience in this. I can tell by what you wrote. You can try to be authentic and clear with my in-laws all day long; but at the end of the day their narcissistic family system is to rule. They will weigh their next countermeasure as if we are in a long drawn out game of war. It got to a point where I could recognize who was pulling the strings between each of them depending on the passive aggressive behavior. What's really sad is that only a couple of years into the marriage they had done so many terrible things that it felt like my ability to feel any affection for them was burnt out and I was constantly cynical and on guard--- watching and analyzing. In the long run what I have left to grieve is how many resources they burnt up (with me having to deal with their bullshit and the trauma that they put my husband through causing him to go through addiction and recovery... not to mention the toll it took on me)........ and the fact that I think I actually started viewing other people more suspiciously and cynically... always watching to see when people's angle or their true face would show. That's definitely what I need to work to heal--- to be able to genuinely think that other people can be sincere and loving again.