My son married a lovely, smart girl who was raised in a liberal midwestern family that by all appearances are typical upper middle class. Father is CEO of a foundation, the mother an RN that works with a local family practice. Wonderful people. Charming, bright, educated, hard working and love the good life. Oh, and are liberals, important point.
The mother is convinced that Covid is truely a deadly disease because she has seen so many people die from it. Her husband, a big strapping guy spent over a month in the hospital from it. So, to her everything in life is Covid. It's the central focus of every discussion. Because she's a nurse, she feels she's the one with the most knowledge about this deadly disease and at liberty to set some standards when it comes to any get togethers.
This weekend my son and wife were planning a birthday party for their only child. The wife miscarried 2 months ago after being fully vaxed. But no problem because her mother said the two aren't related because she's the nurse and knows. My wife and I were planning on attending the party until my son called this morning and said, "Dad, don't shoot the messenger". You can guess what was coming. His mother-in-law was requesting all that attend the party be Covid tested first. I thought for a moment and said that we wouldn't be coming then. He said, but Dad you can get one of those quickie tests at CVS no problem. I said why would I, I'm not sick?
Then I said, listen son. My life doesn't revolve around Covid. I asked, when were you last tested for smallpox? polio? You do realize that people who think everyone needs to test when they are not sick are suffering from a mental illness? The science shows that the people who carry the highest Covid viral load are those fully vaccinated, not those unvaccinated. My wife and I are not vaccinated nor will we be. We will not be pushed into getting a test that isn't accurate when we don't feel sick either. It's a matter of principle. We had no problem being there because we don't care if they're vaccinated or not. It's a personal matter and that's it.
I said we will see our grand daughter some other time when they're not around to get our imaginary cootie bugs. Sorry, but I will not be bullied, pressured or anything else to satisfy someone else's insecurity and need for control. We don't roll like that. We love you, your wife and our grand daughter so we'll see you some other time.
"But Dad, Betty (not her real name) is concerned because she has seen so many friends die." Son, that's because her friends were never given a script for HCQ or Ivermectin early when they first got sick. Their doctors never told them to take Vit D, C, and zinc. Then, when they got to the local hospital they were given Remdesivir like her husband. Probably, one of the worst things they could have been given. It destroys kidneys. Betty thinks she knows what's best but I assure you, she knows nothing of the science. She follows protocols which are wrong. Exasperated, he says I hope this doesn't destroy my daughter's relationship with you and mom. It won't but we draw the line now because I don't set conditions for them nor should they for us.
Covid destroys minds more than any other part of the body. I won't be bullied regardless, nor will I or my wife give in to pressure. Starting down that road then leads to show your vax card to enter. No thanks. We're just a couple of loving grandparents who have their standards, their morals and their common sense. I won't give them up even if it means I'll miss seeing my lovely grand daughter. Sorry, I don't drink Kool Aid. Never liked the stuff nor will I in the future.
I hope your son gets seriously based before the MIL insists the baby be vaxxed. That would be the line in the sand for me.
I'm sure it's on her mind. In fact my son said the preschool they want to send her to is saying she needs to be vaxxed. I told him to find another school or get ready for homeschooling. We will see. I can only tell them my position and give the reasons. I can show them the studies and incidence of Covid among kids, I can do what I can but I can't change the school or mother-in-law or his wife.
I do not envy your situation...just your civility and tolerance.
You forgot to mention that you can't change your son either along with the rest of the people you listed. It's his life, his family, his child. It's his and his wife's positions to decide choices for their family, and you have to let him life his own life too.
Well, I've been sending a ton of info to my son regarding the vax in kids. The last was the video Dr. Malone put out very straight to the point...don't vax your kids with this mRNA vaccine. He sends back a "fact check" link trashing Malone. So, I send him 3 recent links about Facebook admitting in court their so called fact checks were only opinions. Later that night I spoke to him and he swore he'd never let his daughter get the C19 vax. Maybe some progress being made? Hope so.