"We process the deceased using our state of the art contained nuclear fission process. Instead of ashes, your loved one's 'cremains' are rendered into vapor and plasma and then stored on one of our various fine phylacteries."
There used to be a Ralph's Funeral Parlor just down the road' but most of their employees quit to work part time from home doing call center work, and living off their stimulus checks.
If you're looking to save some money, we have the Chris Barnes special... Yes, THAT Chris Barnes, the original lead vocalist of Cannibal Corpse... No, we DON'T actually know what he does with bodies... Yes, that's BBQ you're smelling, we're grilling meats out back...
Or buy a mini excavator...
Crema of the Crop: Top Tier Cremation Services.
"We process the deceased using our state of the art contained nuclear fission process. Instead of ashes, your loved one's 'cremains' are rendered into vapor and plasma and then stored on one of our various fine phylacteries."
"Guaranteed Zero emissions. Carbon neutral!"
There used to be a Ralph's Funeral Parlor just down the road' but most of their employees quit to work part time from home doing call center work, and living off their stimulus checks.
If you're looking to save some money, we have the Chris Barnes special... Yes, THAT Chris Barnes, the original lead vocalist of Cannibal Corpse... No, we DON'T actually know what he does with bodies... Yes, that's BBQ you're smelling, we're grilling meats out back...
I had to look this up. Never in a million years would I have guessed that definition.