About half a year ago I confessed to my church community that I am struggling with SSA and posted here on GAW. From there I have been in a 12 step recovery program called Re:Generation. First I must start with I still have this attraction and that is okay, but I am no longer acting on my flesh (No longer seeking Homosexual relations/Porn). I have been searching for the root of my sin nature and have found some connections so far. I did not feel wanted/desired or understood by men in my life growing up, and was sexually abused by a male cousin. Long story short, I see that I used sex as a way to gain that want/desire and understanding from men. Which I felt Wanted/Desired when I was abused. This is a huge eye opening link to what may be what started this sin nature in me. While I have not seen a change in my attraction, like I mentioned I am no longer acting on this sin nature of mine. God is 100% capable of changing this in me, I will not deny His power. But as say to my church family walking with me, I need to first be okay with the idea that I may never be over this attraction, never have a relationship, and never have sexual "gratification" again. This may be the thorn in my side The Lord uses to remind me of where he has taken me, or the thorn may be removed and I can have children and a family that I want to have some day.
I just wanted to give an update for those who have seen my previous post on here. For those who are still active in SSA I am not judging you, I love you all and pray God reveals himself to you as He has done to me. Im not asking for you all to do what I am doing but to just get to know the Father, Son, and Spirit.
Thank you for reading this, any and all of you. Keep me in your prayers. God is great and may His will be done, not my own.
Thank you for sharing fren, I didn't read your last post but I'm happy your have progressed since the last time you have shared with the community.
Keep God first in your life as your doing, as sexual sin will always try to creep back in. Everyday in your prayers remember where God has brought you and where he will take you.
If you can direct your mind towards a more faith filled and purer life God will will lead you there. You will have dark nights of the soul, where it will try to make you revert back to a more primal nature bit you need to fight that urge, and keep busy.
I know this by my fight with pornography, they way we're living today is wrong in many ways and it's so obvious to me the powers that shouldn't be have shaped this world into Satan's playground.
That being said you showed great bravery and honesty in your post and that you have the strength and resolve to choose God's will over your life.
I pray all the best for you.