I live in an area where the drug abuse is so freaking sad on top of all the opportunity liars. For weeks he has been sitting at the garbage can at my job with a sign saying "veteran need help." Im the manager I just ask him to put the sign away it away but I'm not making him leave but I am not allowed to have anyone at the door asking for anything. I've been repeating myself for weeks every time I see him. Yesterday he was there again with the sign and I told him I'm feeling disrespected that in explaining the same thing to him every time. Then I asked him if he's really a veteran or just some guy with a sign. He's from the marine Corp medically discharged for the refuse of medication because he rather choose the alternative of talk therapy because he has had friends die in explosions 3 times in bagdad. I told him with genuine understanding that I really thank him for his service referencing standing up for his medical decision. I asked him why he is being treated so bad because it's cold outside and he's sitting by a trash can wearing a sheet. He said that they aren't treating him so bad and then he realized and told me that he's been on a 90 day housing waiting list but it's been over 90 days. I told him what I've been going through working a store with a pharmacy and what's gone on with my medical descion. Then I let him know that obviously there is no infiltration happening because obviously that would be crazy and reminded him that I am a civilian. I told him I wish there was more that I could do for him but he told me I'm doing very much and thanked me. I can't stop thinking about this guy. It makes me so freaking sad. All I can do is hope that the conversation I had with him gave him his hope boost.
I also did tell him I do feel bad I keep getting on him about the sign but he reassured me he understood that I just do what I have to do at my job.
You need to do more than have a conversation. God literally delivered him to your doorstep. The world is lost if we all sit on our hands hoping someone else will do something.
Interesting enough after I posted this he was outside again. I gave him a hug told him I was really regretting not doing that yesterday and then told him that I'm so hopeful for the future that something really good is going to be changing here soon.
There's a lot of missing info that is needed, before I can give solid clear advice....
Make a list, as ask him::
Parents?
If Yes, why isn't he there?
Car?
If yes, does it run?
Buddies Home nearby?
Why not double up with?
Comp?
Why not Rent?
Clothing?
Food?
Don't just take anyone at face Value, there are still many people who study Veterans only to attempt to emulate us in order to Steal Valor.....
IF you personally know any Veterans, tell them, and ask them to vet this guy, THEN you can get solid advice on how to help.....
Sometimes all a conversation is what somebody needs. That's his choice of therapy.
Very true, especially now. We are here because we are strong enough and we're being given enough to help others. If people ask me for help I am trying to be very generous.
Rather than repeating yourself about his sign, he'd probably prefer you pretended to scold him each day but instead ask him how he's going and bring him a cup of hot coffee and a toasted sandwich if it's cold.
I would love to do that but I don't know when he's going to be here and I cannot leave the property while I'm here because I'm the on site person. He seems to be a human who is valuing my thoughts that count.
Keep an eye out for him on the weekends. Have a hot coffee with him then?
I'm thinking about using my next days off when I gig work and whatever I earn for the week is what I'm going to gift him. He has a lady with him today said that's his wife. She's taking some care of him for this night so I'm believing I'll have some time.
That sounds good.
It's easy for me to be generous with your time and money - I understand that... You said you are a manager. Is there any mutually beneficial job the veteran could be employed to do for you? A gym membership is all he'd need to have access to hot showers and a place to groom himself.
Hmm that might not be a bad idea. I don't know how he would feel if I just threw him some quick small cash. I rather give him a larger lump at once. Maybe next week if he's still around and I'm able to hand him a stack. I would think the VA would give them gym passes. But then again a 90 day waiting list and it's been over 90.
My bosses don't let me do the hiring. I'm "too nice" according to the hiring ones even though I've seen over the years I have been very nice and real with drug addicts around here and I've seen some of them get their life together and even just come in to thank me just for being kind.
didn't he say that he needs housing (housing waiting list)?
Ask him what help he would like to have other than money, housing, job, ...
You are the manager, aren't you in need of some helping hands in exchange for money?
I'm not the hiring manager. I told the hiring manager about him it's a no go. The few bad apples makes people's perception of others flawed. That's the sickness in this world. I'm limited to the people in giving im my position.
Take a picture of him with his military ID, go to your local VA office, show them the picture and then place your fingers firmly on their necks, um, I mean, ask them what exactly do they get paid for? You can get this guy his housing.
^^^^^THIS^^^^^
Great advice, fren!!!
Yeah.. so many, many vets in that situation. Do you have a coat you don’t need? You’re appreciated more than you know.
True story. My neighbor across from me is a super nice guy, works like a dog and has a really interesting job but he’s coming and going all the time. I won’t dox him but he’s got a super cool drone. He’s a little hard to get to know though and he doesn’t take care of his yard at all. It sort of looks like hell. I don’t worry about it though, it’s just grass and leaves. That never killed anybody. So, he always has people seemingly staying there. Only men. Different cars, one guy on a trike. Lots of ubers but obviously my actual neighbor drives to work and so they’re not for him. He has no kids. I couldn’t figure out what the deal was and it’s none of my business. I really don’t feel like I should ask “dude.... what’s the DEAL over here?” but I just can’t. I’ve asked him over for a beer a few times and he declined, always so busy so I got nowhere with that.
So one day I was leaving for work and this guy happened to be leaving from his house on the trike. I let him go first on the street and he had a sign on the back “Vets 4 vets”
And then it all dawned on me. My neighbor probably is volunteering with them. It totally makes sense now. He’s letting them stay with him till they get their housing squared away. I felt like bawling. You just don’t know the goodness in people. On the surface they may appear a certain way. Even maybe a little rough..... but they’re out there.
I just thought about it. Years ago there was this navy soldier who talked to me for the 2 years he was coming into the store talking about what we walk about. He was living in a hotel. He one day asked me if I would accept some homemade propaganda he made. I told him I would be interested. He came in and gave me all his books he made. Then I saw him one last time he came in and told me that he hopes I look at the stuff he wrote but doesn't want to pressure me but after giving it to me he said that he finally felt a sense of accomplishment because I seemed to be the only person who would hear him out in this town and he doesn't feel any more need to be here and plans to try another city. Then he confessed to me that he was not a navy vet but that he was actually dishonorably discharged with paranoia skizophrenia when if you read what his "homemade propaganda" is about is just definitions and this actual reality check.
I’m surprised he didn’t get a medical discharge. Dishonorable means they did something really bad like desertion, rape, murder etc. but anyway, what did he talk about in his propaganda?
What the government is doing to it's people.
Sorry, but he sounds like a Valor Thief....
Reason:: Absolutely NOBODY gets a Dishonorable for a Mental Condition Discharge...
A valor theif? I'm intrigued.
For the most part, the best I can describe, they are people who for some reason, probably mental issues, will go out of their way to dress, or tell stories about having been in the Military, when they never were....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s98erQx5Kzg
Yeah that is why I never kicked him off the property just told him to put that sign away because like I told him I didn't know if he was actually a vet or just some guy with a sign.
Ok, but please, do not take things at word value, especially when it comes to Veterans, it is 100% Honorable to ask for some sort of credentials, especially a DD-214, those who earned them will be more than happy to let you read about our Awards that are written on them, and those who don't have one, or got Dishonorables will shy away or come up with a ton of excuses as to why they don't have one......
Also, on the same note, those of us who don't immediately carry one, usually carry a VA Card, they are quite distinct, ""pretty"" is the word I used the first time I received mine.....
Thank you. This is really good knowledge to know. He already realized the only thing I was willing to provide to him was a conversation but this is definitely valuable knowledge I might be able to use in the future.
That makes sense. I'm thinking though he won't take cash from me or any actual help though besides just talk because I'm a girl. His wife lady he was with tonight appears to live in a home based on her appearance. But she was sitting there out there in the cold with him. He might really run on old school values. Im going to have to find a trusted dude to hand my cash over to to get it to him.
So sad... Next time slip him a $10.00 :)
Maybe you could give him a "job." Menial labor like keeping the front sidewalk and the rear of the store clear of debris.... washing windows... come up with a new job every day, and then pay him accordingly, whatever you think the moment deserves. He might be grateful for the work and some small income. Make it, say.... 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, some place to be, a responsibility to meet, and someone who believes in him.
I work for a corporation. It isnt able to work like a small business works.
I see... what I meant was an off-the-books "job", no HR involved, paid out of discretionary funds (if you have that). Just a suggestion, but your situation sounds unique, so.... never mind.
That would be risky to do it. I realized something about what information im able to get from my job. The my pillow thing was my solid confirmation and now I already know what memos will be sent down from corporate before they even send them. The year before the pandemic there was a lot of big changes in corporate at the time. Few weeks ago there was a minor change. I don't know how long before the next big thing but it's on its way. That much I do know.
I feel for you. It's the same reason I escaped working in academe, I saw the writing on the wall when DIVERSITY became the main function, prioritized over education. I escaped with my soul (and pension) intact.
Thank God. I'm still spreading my soul as best as I can. Ive been observing the effects of people after they take the covid shot. So far I've noticed 3 people I was close to change litterally over night. It's like they hate me and I don't even know how to describe it. And the 4th girl I know I think she got some sort of batch that made her slightly different but is wearing off. I know it's a completely jump of my original topic but I have been observing so much just watching this pandemic play out. I've been looking into reading my body. I've been watching how I genuine wave to a person and then look how what that body language supposively means later. With this vet guy I just feel he somehow floated my way because he just needed to hear some hope. I gave him a hug and when I hugged him he felt like he needs more love. I never met a marine before but I hear they are the most hardcore.
Former Jarhead myself, way back in the day....yeah, we learn a lot of discipline and surrendering self to achieve group objectives. And we generally don't "unlearn" those traits after we get out, either.
The discipline I learned in the Corps has served me well throughout the rest of my life and career.