I was dreaming that I had taken a course at my old highschool for whatever reason. My tummy started to rumble, so I knew it was time to take a deuce.

I went to the bathroom nearest to the classroom, but was shocked to realize that there was no Men or Women placards anywhere.

There were, however, two pink placards. One said "MILIF" and the other "MILE", both were different shades of pink.

I figured it was some trans-cope nonsense, but I was about to soil myself so I ran in. "MILIF" because I figured with more letters, maybe there was one that matched whatever the hell they considered me.

All the stalls, sinks, toilets, hand blowers, and mirrors were jumbled up, out of place, and looked like an Escher painting, almost.

Gaps between stalls, with stall doors having a good 2 feet between latch components so someone can just peer in and watch you crap. The toilets were down too low, the urinals were up too high and not level with one another, and the whole bathroom looked like a retrofitted shot-gun closet with a doorway to go into a classroom near the back, but no door to stop the classroom occupants of said classroom from hearing every inglorious sausage get snipped off, dive, dip and splash while they learned about how race supremacy is bad except when the Media are okay with it and how the solution to the "countless" NAZIs Among Us™ is just to paint them blue and yellow and give them more money for weapons but not food.

Anyways, the bathrooms looked and felt like these:

https://www.liveabout.com/bathroom-design-fails-4149586

I tried to take my pants down, but the school class bell rang and after a dozen kids dressed like they were auditioning for a Nickelodeon fashion shoot walked through en masse, able to see my exposed crotch through the gaps as I squatted on the toilet, I realized I had to find another bathroom with a little less exposure. At least, I guess, I had made the right choice going into "MILIF" because no one was concerned with me there, so at least I had that meagre victory under my belt.

So I set off, probably only 20% of my cargo unloaded, in search for another bathroom far and away removed from the student population. It bears mentioning, my old highschool was designed with only circular hallways. There were no straight shots anywhere, and the layout was confusing as hell. This did not help matters of the cracked fudge variety, but I recall where most bathrooms used to be, before their leaky gender-fluid retrofitting, so I was confident the best place to go was the gym bathrooms because, hey, at least there'd be a larger volume of stalls/toilets in the changing areas, right?

Mistake. BIG Mistake. It seems they did a good number on those as well. The old smell of AXE body spray, urine, and decades old uncleaned sweat were still there, but the same treatment of intersectional bullshit seemed to have waved their magic wand and everything assume the wonkiest of forms. The feeling of hopelessness was palpable as I bravely stepped into the brink of Escher's Super-Gay Bathroom.

All I could think was "Aw, shit... here we go again..."

About that time, I woke up in real life, about to crap my pants. Photo finish for the brown turtle coming out of its shell...

Moral of the story is this:

Guys, we gotta do something about the trans gender bathroom crap. Soon, they'll chop up all the fixtures like in my dream to accommodate all the insanity these people think are their "true selves."

Well, I identify as a 5 year old little black girl, and while that's my "true self" it doesn't mean all the toilets have to be 3 inches off the ground so I can use them like a toddler pottie at the expense of everyone else.

What's next? Are they gonna put in refueling stations for those who identify as Apache Attack Helicopters?

Actually, you know, that part doesn't sound half bad... ROTC, get on that already!