Trump wearing his hat shows he's vain! Look at that ice cream freezer! There's more than two scoops in them! Mom can't even bring me more tendies because I came out of my basement into the scorching light of day as the lasers of sunlight pierced through the curtains of the kitchen just to open the freezer and throw them in her face while screeching nonsensical obscenities that only my best friends -- my cats Beyonce, Shaquila Oneala, Malcolm X, Will and his brother Smith, the one formerly known as Elon, and even Khaleesi and Jamie and Daenerys and Drogo and Loki, also Alexnyandria Ocasio Cortessa and even the little furball runt Kanye who I stopped feeding because he's a little crazy -- could hear, and Mom just looked at me like I was the one who was crazy! First of all, she's the one who didn't clean the tendies off her floor, and second of all Trump gets more scoops of ice cream than me! I should get exactly the same number of scoops as him and now Mom has to clean tendies off the floor and it's all his fault! And I'm hungry so now I have to send Mom to get me more tendies! She's the worst!