Dear anons - two dear friends and also coworkers were in a car wreck yesterday. One didn’t make it, and the other is in really bad, broken shape.
I wonder why I am reaching out to an anonymous group, but feel there is a connection even in our anonymity.
So I know there are combat vets in here that have had to deal with members of their platoon dying when in war - I am an RN who has a really close set friends who deal with everyday gunshots, car wrecks and surgery and such, but I never thought we would have to deal with the loss of one of our own.
This doesn’t happen in a hospital setting very much.
We all got through it today, but how do you deal with the loss of someone who is at the prime of their life and doing all they ever wanted to do, only to be burned to a crisp in a flash? And someone you also call friend?
It is surreal. And the other friend will have years, if ever to recover from nearly every bone being broken.
Why do the good die young?
Sorry to hear about you losing a close friend, and another seriously injured. I've lost so many good friends whilst serving in the military I've come to understand that no matter what you've been exposed to on a daily basis, no matter how strong you think you are, you're not. And it's a big realisation when it hits home.
I lost my best mate in the Army when he was in his prime, early 20's. It was over 26 yrs ago and I still think about him and the laughs we had to this day. Another was killed when we deployed, but killed by a freak accident by our own troops, that's tough because he died from someone else's incompetence. And many more took too soon.
There is no right or wrong way in handling the grief process that will come from this event, don't feel guilty for not grieving enough, nor feel bad for grieving too much, sometimes it's delayed for months or years, but when it happens the most important thing is to realise it for what it is and not to fight it, let it happen.
I've been close to death twice, on the edge, made my peace and resigned myself to it, but the body is an incredible thing and given time and skill of people like yourself in hospitals, it can survive and thrive again.
Remember your friend who has died as often or not as you want, there are no rules with this, different emotions or none at all, everything is equal. But recognise in yourself if the going gets tough, the grieving process will and must happen to move on but don't forget them.
Anon I wrote it for anyone that needs it and can take something from it, it comes from experience and the heart. Some in life go through immense trauma and suffering, others barely anything, that's just how it goes.
Thank you for your kind sentiment, whilst I'm saddened that they are not here with me right now, I'm thankful I knew them and will not forget them. It was also our job, one we loved and would go again in a heartbeat.
No regrets.