What biking advice do you have?
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How rusty is too rusty? Does a rusted-all-to-hell bike deter the bike thieves? Is it actually a positive?
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How do you keep your balls from jiggling around? My left nut is about double the size of a normal testicle because it was undescended as a kid and I had to get it plucked out like an in-grown tooth. In other words, I'm not a fan of jock-straps.
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Are elbow and knee pads worth the discomfort and sweat-rash?
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Do those hoards of bicyclists actually go into the woods to have big-gay orgies? I've had a family friend confirm his relative does that, mind you.
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How do you manage to not look gay riding a bicycle? I'm never wearing one of those "sponsored" tight-fitting bike uniforms. I'm not Lance Armstrong, and even if I was he's still a faggy cheater.
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I got a stream-lined backpack for emergency water. Should I bring a gun with me for "other" emergencies?
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Are scooters gay? Are skateboards still cool? Which does the least harm to your lower back?
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I always move off to the side and let cars pass. Is this safer or more dangerous? I don't wanna be a jerk and force someone to pass me when I'm the one going 5-10 miles an hour and they gotta take a shit really bad.
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Does biking help reduce belly-fat? I don't drink, but I've had a beer-belly since 8th grade. I'm not fat, I can lift a whole fridge, except I look pregnant. Will biking help me shed the midriff?
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Since sun-screen is known to be carcinogenic (likely on purpose) what's the over-under on alternatives? I have some methylene blue which is used in super-expensive sun-screens that don't have asbestos in them, but I don't wanna risk dying my skin blue.
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My head gets really itchy from the helmet. Is a shaved head better or worse? How do you manage the itching in that bastard?
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Seriously, though. Do bicyclists have gay orgies in the woods? They always creep me out because I live out in the boonies. I don't wanna wake up and find out they sniffed my bike out and are humping around it like a pack of jack rabbits in heat. Is there an anti-gay-orgy-bicyclist repellent I can spray around my shed?
Did you ever ride a bike as a kid?
Helmet? Queer orgies? Damn dood or doodette (because wimmins can haz testicles), just DAMN.
No 'you' don't need a gun.
Yeah, a bit.
Stopped riding when I saw a man with his blue balls dangling while staring at us behind a screen door. Gave me the indication that people in my area are some sick fuckers.
Also, when my brother stopped riding or doing anything physical in favor of video games it played a huge role in deterring me from riding all alone. I live out near old, creepy retirees so there weren't any neighborhood kids who wanted to do stuff together.
Seriously though, any time I've tried to do something physical, balls end up in my face. Some fleshy, others big orange ones that break my glasses. I've got incredibly bad luck when it comes to sports. It's not a matter of bullying, just a matter of me having a gravitational pull for everything to go wrong.
I haven't broken any bones, though, so I'm thankful for that.
What I lack in physical aptitude I made up for in drawing ability, computer literacy, writing, and knowing more fun-facts about the world than anyone else I know -- to the point of a divine loneliness, mind you.