Feeling poetic today, so I figured I'd share my definition of a friend in the most simplest terms.

A friend, to me, is someone who will take you to, sit in the waiting room, and take you home from an ass surgery.

Not just that they'd be there because you have no one else to turn to, though that is important.

Rather, that they're there despite how awkward it might be; that they're there and cracking jokes about your crack and trying to keep you in a good mood while you're doped up and potentially in pain on the drive home; that they're willing, though not necessarily available, to help you and attend to you and your needs just as you would be there to take care of them when their shit is all out of whack (literally in this case).

Now, you take a whole bunch of people who are willing to endure taking one another to ass surgeries, and what you've got is a family.

What I'm trying to say here is this -- I'd be happy to take any of you to an ass surgery should it be possible for me to do so.

God Bless you, friends!