Inb4 religion...Whats is a good reason why you havent armed yourself? With everything going on around us, it might benefit the world as a whole for you to equip yourself with an equalizer.
Go buy a cheap pistol at the very least and learn to put rounds on target. We need all the backup we can get.
I'm sorry to hear that. Whether you believe in prayer or not, I will pray for your health. I was diagnosed as bipolar as a kid (I'm now in my 50s so back then it was "manic-depressive") so I know what you are going through. Teenage years are hard enough but depression makes it hell. In one respect your luckier than I since mental health is more widely discussed. But on the other hand it has become almost fashionable to claim mental illness so that those who truly need help get lost in the shuffle. I hope you have people IRL who love you and can be there for you. If not, you have all of us here.