It was my dad's favorite place to fish. Today it's under water. Even if it weren't, there would be the inevitable fences, signs and barricades to keep us off. Not so then, for it was a time when the vestiges of freedom and personal responsibility were alive and well. How thankful I am for that. The old stone dam at Big Bear Lake holds a treasure trove of memories, full of nostalgic smiles, laughs, tears and fears. A transformation happened there. One stormy morning we were the only ones; unheard of for a weekend. The wind blew the sleet sideways as it cut our backs like shrapnel and we had to knock the ice off the rod guides to cast our line. Saner folks decided on other activities that March day, but we were happy. Just dad and me. Like many in his generation, dad saw such things as only 'inconveniences'--mere trifles adding to the challenge of it all. How much of life I would have missed without that model. Numb fingers and toes, sore backs and hungry bellies are soon forgotten, but the fragrance of shared adventures lingers like good barbeque on a summer afternoon. Time stood still on the old stone dam. When the action slowed and the warm afternoon sun melted the pre-dawn excitement, the uneven stones became as a downy comforter. More than once dad saved my rod from a one-way trip into the lake as I dozed while the fish didn't. Somehow, like the turning of the seasons, while sitting for hours and hours over years and years, my young soul began to mold with dad's. Somewhere on that dam, between the limits of trout, his life stories, the long periods of silence and my unending questions about everything from God to girls, I decided that I wanted to be like him. Long before the psychologists, pastors and authors coined the catchy phrase, dad understood that values are caught more than they're taught . Side by side and soul to soul on the old stone dam, I got "caught" by my father's character. Do you have 'an old stone dam ' in your life? Your sons, daughters and grandkids desperately need to share one with you. A place of risk and adventure, where time stands still and freedom is the order of the day. A place where you let them be , and then let them in . A place where they absorb your values. A place where they say, "I wanna be like dad" or "I wanna be like grandpa ." It won't happen with video games or trips to the mall. As good as those are, it's gotta hurt a little bit, and sting here and there, and have a dash of fear and adventure thrown in. Most of all, it needs a place where time grinds to a halt, where unencumbered souls can merge. Our nation's youth are dying without it. Give 'em your time, men. It's the greatest gift you have, and it was dad's greatest gift to me. By the grace of God!

Epilogue: "Hunt with your boy when he is young, and you won't have to hunt for him when he is grown." -- Herb Parsons, famous marksman.