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posted ago by Stumpycake ago by Stumpycake +48 / -1

Trump: “I’m going to be making an important announcement tomorrow.”

(White hats hand the DS a remote control)

WH to DS: He’s gonna expose it all! Quick, launch the missiles!!

(Missles fire)

Poland: Hey wait a minute. These look like….

WH to DS: Shit! They’re going to trace the missiles back to us! Quick, sell Twitter to Elon!!

(Elon dismantles Twitter Board)

WH to DS: Shit! They’re going uncover the censorship orders!! Hurry, send billions to Ukraine!

(Pfizer Veritas video drops)

WH to DS: Fuck!! (Releases balloon) Quick! Show everyone that Biden doesn’t control the military!!!

(DS scrambles, panicked)

WH to DS: We’re so fucked!! (Points camera at Grammy’s) Hurry!! Satirize one of your satanic rituals!!

(Trump changes his profile pic. DS craps their pants)