I'm one of the sad bastards for whom it's most likely too late. I'm 40 now and spent my 20s and 30s basically brainwashed that it wasn't good to have kids, or I wasn't worthy, or I didn't want them, wouldn't be a good father, there are no good women anymore, blah blah blah, now in these last few years coming to my senses, it hurts to realize I let the prime years slip away.
40 is too old for a woman to have kids, or at least it starts to become high risk for down syndrome and birth defects, which means I would need to find a younger woman, which is a) unlikely to happen in terms of me finding one who would have me and b) likely that we would have very little in common if I did.
I am like you (42, unmarried). I have been very careful selecting a wife. As the saying goes: "Find a woman you can't live without, not the one you can live with."
My older brother got burned when he married at 24. He met his wife (27). She had a child from a previous relationship. Very soon, my brother became a total cuck. The wife gave birth to 5 children. Now she is totally lazy: constantly on social media, shopping and traveling with friends. I suspect that she is also cheating on him with their piano teacher.
Meanwhile, my brother is working full-time (solid income), cooking meals, raising kids and maintaining the house. He privately told me: "I have sacrificed my life for the kids. I will raise them until the youngest one is 18 and off to college. My dream is to divorce the wife."
Yeah, but the woman needs to be younger or else the risk for down syndrome gets too high, and I'm not really the kind of guy who is blowing any skirts up.
I am a female and had mine at 34 and 37. I was ready to have another, too, at 39, but hubby was trying to change jobs and it seemed risky financially. Now, I wish I had had that third one. Both of my kids are very smart, healthy and wonderful people. No regrets on having them.
For you, I think you should consider getting yourself in the best physical shape that you can (if not already), splurge on yourself and hire a good personal trainer and nutritionist, get shredded, get some new, better fitting clothes, go lay in the sun and tan a bit, do some teeth whitening, go get a pedicure and a massage and a high-end haircut and beard shave. Stand up straighter.
Have someone help you take some nice photos of yourself to put on a few decent dating sites and say this: "Ready to be a dad," "Nice ladies with kids who need a solid husband and willing dad candidate, swipe right" or something like this. Lots of single or divorced younger or mid-30's women with children need a good man, but find on the dating sites most won't even date a woman who already has kids. You are not that guy. You are perfect for this. You are not too old to sire your own, too, with that same woman if you decide to.
Thanks for the input and advice, but there's probably not much hope for me in terms of self improvement because I'm not tall, in fact kind of short, and there's no amount of improvement that can fix that. Also, I wouldn't go for someone divorced with kids because I wouldn't want to raise kids that weren't my own and a divorce is a strong indication that the woman cannot make a relationship work.
I'm one of the sad bastards for whom it's most likely too late. I'm 40 now and spent my 20s and 30s basically brainwashed that it wasn't good to have kids, or I wasn't worthy, or I didn't want them, wouldn't be a good father, there are no good women anymore, blah blah blah, now in these last few years coming to my senses, it hurts to realize I let the prime years slip away.
40 isn’t too old at all.
40 is too old for a woman to have kids, or at least it starts to become high risk for down syndrome and birth defects, which means I would need to find a younger woman, which is a) unlikely to happen in terms of me finding one who would have me and b) likely that we would have very little in common if I did.
I am like you (42, unmarried). I have been very careful selecting a wife. As the saying goes: "Find a woman you can't live without, not the one you can live with."
My older brother got burned when he married at 24. He met his wife (27). She had a child from a previous relationship. Very soon, my brother became a total cuck. The wife gave birth to 5 children. Now she is totally lazy: constantly on social media, shopping and traveling with friends. I suspect that she is also cheating on him with their piano teacher.
Meanwhile, my brother is working full-time (solid income), cooking meals, raising kids and maintaining the house. He privately told me: "I have sacrificed my life for the kids. I will raise them until the youngest one is 18 and off to college. My dream is to divorce the wife."
I have the feeling at most women now would be this way.
Yeah, but the woman needs to be younger or else the risk for down syndrome gets too high, and I'm not really the kind of guy who is blowing any skirts up.
I am a female and had mine at 34 and 37. I was ready to have another, too, at 39, but hubby was trying to change jobs and it seemed risky financially. Now, I wish I had had that third one. Both of my kids are very smart, healthy and wonderful people. No regrets on having them.
For you, I think you should consider getting yourself in the best physical shape that you can (if not already), splurge on yourself and hire a good personal trainer and nutritionist, get shredded, get some new, better fitting clothes, go lay in the sun and tan a bit, do some teeth whitening, go get a pedicure and a massage and a high-end haircut and beard shave. Stand up straighter.
Have someone help you take some nice photos of yourself to put on a few decent dating sites and say this: "Ready to be a dad," "Nice ladies with kids who need a solid husband and willing dad candidate, swipe right" or something like this. Lots of single or divorced younger or mid-30's women with children need a good man, but find on the dating sites most won't even date a woman who already has kids. You are not that guy. You are perfect for this. You are not too old to sire your own, too, with that same woman if you decide to.
Thanks for the input and advice, but there's probably not much hope for me in terms of self improvement because I'm not tall, in fact kind of short, and there's no amount of improvement that can fix that. Also, I wouldn't go for someone divorced with kids because I wouldn't want to raise kids that weren't my own and a divorce is a strong indication that the woman cannot make a relationship work.