When I was growing up I got spanked by my parents and whenever it happened I almost always did something to deserve it and I knew it. My cousins got the same, and my siblings.
My grandma is Indian from Trinidad and Tobago, she had the scarriest punishment and you knew to listen to grandma and behave:
- normally she'd give you a light knock on the crown of the head, it was like the worse ever because nothing is injured and she hardly touched you and it hurt so bad
- "The heat for the seat" was a large wooden decorative spoon the size of a plate, she broke it on my cousin when he wouldn't stop beating me up
We laugh about it now, he knew he deserved it and it was funny in hindsight that it broke after correcting 2 generations of familly members.
Growing up I could always tell the kids that were never spanked from the ones that were. The kids who were never spanked all had these traits:
- complete lack of fear of authority
- complete disrespect for adult
- bullying of others, including crybullying
- lack of respect for the law
- propensity to cheat
- no respect for other people property
- a willigness to commit petty theft for fun
I think that the modern ideals are wrong. I believe in the old wisdom of our forefathers.
Grandma was right to hit us.
From parents yes, anyone else fuck no.
Touch my kids I'll be touching you.
There are other ways authority figures can teach discipline and respect.
I know that if I spank my kid
-how hard I'm doing it
-for what reason
My personal morales likely differ from others, so I can not trust others to do it for the reasons or using the same method I might choose to and how hard someone might spank.
For example, I would ONLY resort to spanking of my kids risked serious injury or death due to something they did.
Ie: run in front of a car.
Most other situations can be handled non violently, and differently depending on age.
Young kids, time out followed by a talk to explain why what they did was wrong, then teach them how to apologize when they do something wrong
Teens, take away privileges
Etc
Problem is these days with kids is that their parents didn't lead by example.
When parents are disrespectful, rude, etc, kids grow up mirroring that.
Their into the mix giving kids cell phones, public schools, pharma chemicals and you've got a recipe for disaster.
Parent's should have ultimate authority over their kids in every aspect, except when it crosses the line into criminal abuse. I would not consider reasonable corporal punishment as such, even as certain countries today do.
If a parent sends their kid to a school they trust (not a public one) and the school makes it clear this is what we do at the school when kids misbehave (nothing excessive) and the parents agree, then it is their right to delegate the disciple.
Corporal punishment is normally not ideal, and the perfect parents would be able to avoid and still get the desired result. However, we are not perfect people and no one is a perfect parent. If you reach the situation where you no longer think you have any options and the choice is between reasonable corporal punishment or raising a dysfunctional child, you have to do what you have to do. I know people who remember when they did something really bad and their parents lost it on them. Since they are functional adults today, they don't hold it against them and think they deserved it. A perpetual victim would probably disagree, but you do not want to raise someone like that.
In a more middle ground approach, corporal punishment can be used as a deterrent. Something that is only a threat but hopefully never needs to be used. That can work well enough sometimes.
if parents do THEIR jobs correctly - there should be no need for anyone else to punish the kids! My girls KNEW that if they misbehaved in school and this bear momma had to show up for ANY reason not related to education - there would be heck to pay! And now, my grandbabies KNOW that granny loves them very much but will NOT tolerate any disrespect or bad actions. My oldest and her hubby chose not to spank or deal with disrespect and the kids act out all the time. When granny is alone with them, it's like night and day on how they act. God bless all!
I agree. Ideally, corporal punishment shouldn't be necessary at all. However, not all parents are perfect. Sometimes they may see reasonable corporal punishment as the only option. While not ideal, it is better than not addressing the behaviour at all.
However, the prevailing culture these days is parents to not discipline their kids at all in any way. In fact, the philosophy is that everything that comes naturally to a child is inherently good and should be nurtured, not supressed. By that same logic, you should never potty train your child. That sounds insane, but many people think they can make an exception for potty training but otherwise give the children a free pass on everything else. However, the end result is a seriously dysfunctional adult who has no impulse control and can barely function in society. This is the kind of philosophy that results in these same parents arguing with a teacher when their child misbehaves in school, instead of addressing the child's behaviour. It leads nowhere good. I would argue, based on observation, that most children are under-discipled these days, not over-disciplined.