I just got back from Florida to see my 95 year old. Because of the fake pandemic, I haven't seen him in 3 years. During that time, I only could speak with him by telephone since that time. It's hard to have really good conversations with anyone when proximity and human senses are limited. To me, everyone has an incredible life of experiences and knowledge to share. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to hear these stories. To this day I still have not heard the 'entire' story of my dad's life. I probably won't either, but it's important to me.
My father fought in the Korean War and was wounded by gunfire being hit several times. He fought in the Battle of the Pusan Perimeter. What I didn't know about his heroism was the following:
Medics retrieved him after being severely wounded and helped drag him from the hill he was fighting on. Rescuing him took them down the hill and though a rice paddy, to which enemy fire caused the medics to abandon him there while they fled. My father recalled becoming very angry because of this. He ended up trying several times getting up to hobble on one leg only to fall and crawling while enemy fire could be heard. I still don't know how he got from the rice patty to being rescued. The most incredible thing I heard from my dad is he's not convinced the battle he fought on that hill was against the enemy, but it was another American company. While he was hospitalized, along other wounded, he learned that his buddies were killed.
While he was state-side in the hospital recovery, he met General MacArthur, who he told me he recalled "looked very pale" for an individual. I asked him what he thought of MacArthur and he said he didn't think much of him. And he was a more of a "grand-standing SOB more than anything else".
My father is 95 and I am still learning from him.
It really gives value and credence to the saying, "The mind is a terrible thing to waste". It is so-o-o true. We tend to waste it everyday.
I tend to perceive the elderly people as a vault containing incredible knowledge and experiences. We are the 'key' to unlock these vaults of knowledge and experiences. My dad never talked about these experiences and we just tend to take them for granted. OMG, there is so much for everyone to learn.
I was about 12 when my dad and mum split and he moved to another home, nearby. I never lived with him after that, although we spent holidays etc, together, and he lived close by my school so I often dropped in. But I left my home country when I was around 18, and never knew my dad as an adult. During 3 decades of my living overseas, I came to realize certain things about myself in relation to my dad, including a lot of pain and unresolved feelings. When I returned to my home town after 32 years, I set myself the task of finding out who my dad really is, and who I was in relation to him.
The next 12 years was a journey where I insistently pursued him. He had a traumatic childhood (lived through foreign occupation and war), and had never opened up about it. Ever. Before he passed away, well, in short, he arrived at the point where he could admit his traumatic childhood.
Finding out who our parents really are is something that is certainly not automatic, and in my experience requires real determination, focus and effort. However, there are few things in life as truly rewarding as coming to know who your parents truly are, underneath, with all their scars and hopes.
My dad passed away shortly after his epiphany, and finally, after a whole lifetime, I came to really really love the man, unfettered by pain or hurt which I had carried most of my life.
Children, treasure your parents. Good or bad, they are God's gift to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkaKwXddT_I