Your niece probably thinks you're totally lame, right? She's also angry. She's probably also hurting but doesn't know how to express it.
Firstly, she'll eat when she's ready. And she'll join you for a meal when she's ready.
She also needs to be shown rather than told, probably. Meaning, demonstrate the qualities that you possess that you would like her to have. Engage in your wholesome hobbies, your housework, singing your songs, cooking your meals, and loving her and the rest of your family.
My guess is that she really wants you to continue to reach out in order to "prove" that you want her around. Or she wants you to confirm her beliefs and reject her.
You could also take another route. Start mirroring her. Wear the black eyeliner makeup that she probably wears. Dress similarly. Do this slowly in stages so it's not a huge change at once. Now what she's doing is lame and she doesn't want to do it anymore. And do it all without modifying your behavior toward her or your family. You're now grocery shopping in full goth. You're doing the dishes while watching an old Alice Cooper video. You're turning on a horror movie at night. Maybe your husband is even into it. And with this, it all becomes so lame that she doesn't want to do it anymore.
I think Mother Teresa said something about how you'll never see her at an anti-war rally, but you would find her at a peace rally. That's because you'll bring about what you fight against. How has the war on drugs worked out? What I'm saying is, don't fight her. Just model, love, try to be patient, difficult as it may be, and gently bring her around.
In a week or so, you might invite her for a short bit of low-key fun. "Hey, I want to get an ice cream cone from [nearby place], want to come? My treat!" Or "I'm going to grab a soda from the gas station, would you like to join me?" This could open the door for things to simmer down and build a relationship.
Those are currently my best ideas. I'll be thinking about you. I'll come back if I come up with anything else. I'm not some kind of expert parent, but I do recall being an angry teen and angry child who had to sleep at the neighbor's house a couple of times. The things I truly wanted most and still want are: people continually reaching out and not giving up, and to feel actually loved.
Your niece probably thinks you're totally lame, right? She's also angry. She's probably also hurting but doesn't know how to express it.
Firstly, she'll eat when she's ready. And she'll join you for a meal when she's ready.
She also needs to be shown rather than told, probably. Meaning, demonstrate the qualities that you possess that you would like her to have. Engage in your wholesome hobbies, your housework, singing your songs, cooking your meals, and loving her and the rest of your family.
My guess is that she really wants you to continue to reach out in order to "prove" that you want her around. Or she wants you to confirm her beliefs and reject her.
You could also take another route. Start mirroring her. Wear the black eyeliner makeup that she probably wears. Dress similarly. Do this slowly in stages so it's not a huge change at once. Now what she's doing is lame and she doesn't want to do it anymore. And do it all without modifying your behavior toward her or your family. You're now grocery shopping in full goth. You're doing the dishes while watching an old Alice Cooper video. You're turning on a horror movie at night. Maybe your husband is even into it. And with this, it all becomes so lame that she doesn't want to do it anymore.
I think Mother Teresa said something about how you'll never see her at an anti-war rally, but you would find her at a peace rally. That's because you'll bring about what you fight against. How has the war on drugs worked out? What I'm saying is, don't fight her. Just model, love, try to be patient, difficult as it may be, and gently bring her around.
In a week or so, you might invite her for a short bit of low-key fun. "Hey, I want to get an ice cream cone from [nearby place], want to come? My treat!" Or "I'm going to grab a soda from the gas station, would you like to join me?" This could open the door for things to simmer down and build a relationship.
Those are currently my best ideas. I'll be thinking about you. I'll come back if I come up with anything else. I'm not some kind of expert parent, but I do recall being an angry teen and angry child who had to sleep at the neighbor's house a couple of times. The things I truly wanted most and still want are: people continually reaching out and not giving up, and to feel actually loved.
Good luck.