..when I feel like I would rather be one of the newly awakened, rather than a tired old war-horse who's seen all this coming for years.
I'd love to have the old energy back, the zeal, the righteous anger.
These days I just want it to be over.
Is it just me? I'll keep going, because that's what we do, but the pep has gone out of me, I feel wrung out.
I understand your sentiment, but I simply would not have it any other way.
I look upon Oct 2017 as a blessing.
First, since 2001, I've always felt something was off. Like someone was pulling strings behind the scenes. But I knew people would think I was crazy if I said anything, so I kept my mouth shut. The information we received not only confirmed that I was on the right path but also brought in the new connections I needed to understand more so I didn't go fucking crazy.
Second, it helped me prepare my wife for what's coming. She isn't ever surprised at things she comes across on socials/news now; she just asks me to explain a bit further. And she knows that if I'm pushing for or against something regarding our kids, there's a reason. I'm so lucky to have found her, and that she agreed to marry my sorry ass.
Finally, this whole thing has literally saved the life of my dad and I. It is clear that they were targeting certain demographics with that death shot and I'm just sure we would have been on the list. Due to the fact that we are actively tracking all sorts of information, we knew to stay the hell away from it.
I wouldn't change anything at all.
I've always loved studying history. I am absolutely gobsmacked to be right in the middle of it.