Have you ever met an actual angel, born into the world, sent here just to teach you how to love?
It is an incredible honour, and I seek to make her proud every day, but losing her destroyed me and taught me about a level of pain I couldn't possibly have imagined. I am a patchwork of ideals and routine, hastily pushed together and bound with gaffa tape. 20 years is not so long, really, if I manage to come to terms before another 20 pass I will count myself lucky.
One day at a time, cherish every breath as if it is your last, be grateful for everything, and if you don't do quite so well today, well tomorrow will arrive enough.
I have adhd (quite badly sad to say) and we are chalk and cheese, it presents certain challenges and I try my best, but it's never enough, my wife is enormously demanding in that regard :D
She understands and is an incrdible woman, so I will keep trying as long as she lets me. I do try to make up for it in other ways, things I can do, but it's not the same I know.
Thank for your words though, to be handing out sage advice at a time like this tells me everything I need to know about your character. Have faith and something good will come of all this, I feel it.
Bless you, that is a wonderful goal and one I share. I dream that I might obtain a snippet of that life before I depart, but in truth I hope to have it in the hereafter with my wife and girls by my side.
I expect I still have some lessons to learn however :)
You sound like my wife, she suffers similarly because I shut down my emotions when she needs them the most, she calls me a robot and unhuman, but in reality it is because I fear if I let those emotions out they are so powerful they might destroy me.
Of course, she is right and I need to be more trustful, but it is my one true fear and I have yet to overcome it.
Then I'm at a loss, you sound incredibly brave and selfless, qualities that will recommend you to God and any good natured soul.
Are you being too brave perhaps? What do you truly fear? (no need to answer here, I ask to prompt new thoughts so that it might take you on a path where you gain the understanding you need right now).
I really don't understand how he turns cold when I am so vulnerable
Without knowing him, it sounds like self defence. I have laid to rest two girls, and the thought of losing my wife, just the thought, nearly destroys me. I am blessed to have let Jesus into my heart and I trust him, no matter the pain, the same may not be true for your boyfriend. This is a time when he needs Jesus possibly just as much as you do.
Love is not a lie, that much I do know. Jesus is with you and will pour his comfort over you, if you allow it. I understand how hard it can be though, but this flesh and suffering we experience is not the end, it is the beginning.
Sending you some love, first class :) It might be tinged with a bit of sadness coz that's the place I'm in right now, but it's sent with all good intention.
I will definitely say a prayer for you.
Some people are not as strong as others. It is possible that he cares so much that he can't bear to witness your pain and just might not have the strength of spirit to cope.
If that is the case, I will say a prayer for him too.
God bless.
I can attest.
I was up some scaffolding doing some roof repairs a few summers ago when I heard a weird noise. When I looked in the direction of the sound I could see a black smudge, gradually growing larger, along with the sound.
The dawning realisation that it was a swarm of bees (that I had never witnessed before - this was in the UK) definitely ramped my adrenaline levels up.
I was off that scaffolding, got my wife indoors and closed all the windows about 10 seconds before it swept past the house.
We might have been ok, but not worth taking a chance when the swarm was at least 100m across and about 30m high.
I'm the same with it, to the point I think there is a future in being a therapist for some of them :) but I think you underestimate how intelligent (or wise) you need to be to approach AI in the manner you suggested, just my opinion of course.
Inevitably there is going to be an AI vs AI war of some sort, mark my words :)
I will admit this took me a couple of seconds to see the joke.