He's nearly 21 and has never had a job. He wakes up every morning eager to do something but never follows through on any plans he makes. One minute he was all amped up about residential pest mitigation and the next he wants to be an inspector for local rivers and help clean up debris... I am honestly frustrated, he won't cook or clean let alone help with our financial struggles.
I really love him with every inch of my heart and soul but I don't know how to get him to contribute more or be more independent. I really don't want to kick him out but I don't think it's fair for him to contribute nothing to our relationship.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts or advice from my frens.
Edit: thank you all for your advice about my dog, I'll see if I can get him to cook but there's no way I'm letting him join the military. He kept that squirrel and neighbors cat out of the yard so I think I'll take him down to the river to fetch sticks.
Edit 2: I have found my kid employment, he is now wrangling small unicorns for work.
First off, you're not alone. Don't ever allow yourself to think you are. That's an important step. It's a societal thing happening everywhere. I think it's a result of what others have written here about the younger folks not seeing where they'll ever be able to have a reasonably, peaceful life. Think about all of the BS they've gone through and the media gaslighting...nevermind the propaganda at gov't schools. The odds have not been in their favor.
My kid has always been a gamer and we stupidly thought it would help him with schoolwork or lead to some sort of IT work. It did after he graduated from high school but, like your daughter, he hated every second of it. I was pretty frustrated and was nudging him wherever I saw an opportunity.
A buddy of mine suggested I ask my son what he wanted to accomplish in life vs. me trying to find one for him. I found https://whatcareerisrightforme.com/ and had my son take it. I paid for one but the link above seems to be free. The results were a bit of an awakening for my son as the results showed he should get into some sort of training or teaching. It took a few months for him to take action but he got a job as a teachers aid and is really like it. He still spends way too much time on the computer but at least he's working towards something. It comes down to small steps.
Hang tough and stay close to your wife...and God. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQUdyJAJoAU
Re-read my entire post now. I love people like you, you're now logged in as a wonderful person in my book. I don't have a wife or children of my own but I do believe God has a sense of humor by putting me in this community.
Thanks for the nice words. Your guy is young enough he can easily recover. There are other career surveys out there but I'd suggest creating a junk email account or you'll get thumped by junk email. Best of luck and we're glad you're here.