Was invited by two close friends to attend their church service today. The wife was singing in the choir. We met several years ago and met through an automotive enthusiast group and became friends. Laugh together, joke together...our personalities just meshed. Over the past year or so we have grown apart yet text each other out of the blue, etc. Last week was "Hey, come with us....and just listen."
I was raised Roman Catholic in the rural midwest. While I was not an alter boy, was part of the boys group of the church that did summer camp and some other get togethers. Around 10 years old or so, the priest took me under his wing, said he liked what he saw in me and wanted to help me learn the bible better.
That "learning" turned into almost four years of mental, physical and sexual abuse until I was close to 14. Came home crying one day and bleeding in my shorts. When I told my parents, their response was "what did you do wrong to upset the priest?"
From them on I just withdrew as I thought it was me that I did something wrong. I've carried that withdraw with me for many years. As soon as I was 16 and could legally drive, I was out the door and gone from all of it including God. Looking back, I repressed all of that hurt, anxiety and anger and in my mind, rightfully so.
After covid, I was camping (2022) with the couple that invited me today. The husband is a Marine and we were sitting around a campfire and drinking all night talking about life, spirituality and everything else under the stars. Feeling safe and losing some inhibition I opened up to him about my past experiences. Wife had already gone to bed and it was just him and me.
He shared his experiences in the sandbox in Iraq and I shared my experiences under the priest. Once that came out the conversation became awkward as we were both fairly lit and uncertain as to how to proceed. Crying and sobbing, he said all of this is terrible and I don't have all the answers, but I am searching for them. When I do I will let you know. We ended the night about 3am under the stars in a tear stained hug with each other "Nite bro, love ya" kind of thing. When the sun came up the next day, we acting as nothing was discussed, had breakfast and went our separate ways.
Now at the end of 2023 and two weeks ago I get a joint text with him and wife. Address, date and time and just says "I found the answer. Come with us and just listen...." Pulled up the address and it is a church. I responded back I'm not interested. Few days go by and get another text and a conversation starts. Eventually I agree and we met up at church today.
It is a non-denominational church, one of those rock band style churches. His wife does have a wonderful voice and it was great to see her sing.
The sermon was relating to Luke (will look this up) regarding Zechariah and Elizabeth unable to have a baby until an angel brought them a message from God. Unsure of all of that.
Went in extremely sceptical but halfway through I kind of got into it. During the sermon I felt something and a tear came down my eye. We shall see if I go back and continue this, but took a lot of courage from me to attend but was easy to do with my friends.
Without the pedes on here praising daily and reading those posts and messages, not sure I would have done so. I do feel like something has been missing from my life, perhaps church is it. Not sure and taking all with a grain of salt until in my mind I am sure.
Nonetheless, wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I am open to see where this path leads!
I’m so sorry you were abused by a priest. It breaks my heart to hear it.
Truly you just need to believe in Him. Have a strong relationship with Him. Churches are man made and made up of imperfect sinners including the clergy. Going to a church should be about mentoring to others and being mentored by them. Join a church where you are comfortable. But put your faith in Him first and foremost.
Having been raised Roman Catholic myself I went on and off to church. I went back when I couldn’t conceive. Was able to adopt my only child from Catholic Charities. She’s been a blessing to both of us ever since.
I stopped going again in 2011 when I lived in NY. We had a very liberal church and Bishop. As a conservative I felt the church had left me . I questioned my priest on things I saw were liberal concepts. Prayers for global warming, having a social justice committee, even having an organist who dressed in women’s clothing. If that wasn’t enough. My final straw was when we were solicited for money for illegal migrants.
I moved to the Bible Belt in 2015. I started taking up lessons at a bible study group in my local community. The man who taught used to be Roman Catholic. He became a Baptist. His readings made me decide to go back to church. I thought of joining the Baptist Church but realized it didn’t matter where I went just needed to find a church I felt comfortable going. The funny thing is there was another couple who used to be Baptists in our group and they both became Catholic. We had all denominations in attendance.
I decided to try out our local Catholic Church first bc it is what I was familiar with. I was overwhelmed by the welcome I had at this tiny little church in the Bible Belt of the South. I joined it and it was a great decision for me. I am now an active member who sings in the choir. We have an active women’s group that does charity has socials and helps put our church when needed. We have a large group men are in the Knights of Columbus and they are very active.
Needless to say I am happy here as this is a more conservative Catholic Church where our members support one another.
I hope you find a church where you feel the same regardless of the denomination.