In light of the recent failures of heinous World Economic Forum plans around the world, the adorably maniacal Supreme Galactic Commander Klaus Schwab has issued new more stringent rules for joining his evil club. These will apply to next year’s gathering of the International Congress of Creepy Evil Super-Rich Villains at Davos, as well as to general WEF membership in the coming year. To quote the Supreme Galactic Commander’s words, “No more vis zee loosee goosee! Eez time to tighten up zee evil lederhosen!”

Updated Conditions for Premium World Economic Forum membership:

All applicants must have a sincere and heartfelt desire to take over the world.

All applicants must demonstrate a total disregard for human rights, a complete absence of compassion and an unmitigated disdain for the lives of those whom they are secretly trying to rule, experiment upon, or murder.

All applicants must demonstrate previous success in making their own dastardly plans seem beneficial to humanity, and must prove their ability to quickly sweep damaging discoveries under the rug before the bad news grows any legs.

All applicants must demonstrate ongoing success in making themselves appear to be good people. Previous exposure of an applicant’s membership in the EWMBN+ community will no longer be tolerated. Evidence of such exposures will result in denial, no matter how Evil, Wicked, Mean, Bad, or Nasty the applicant happens to be.

All applicants must be responsible for at least one mass-murder. Secret mass murders using patented diseases, tainted pharmaceuticals, chemical poisons, fomented uprisings or unnecessary wars are preferable. The more heartless and diabolical the better.

All applicants must be obscenely rich. If you can’t buy a carbon-spewing private plane with your credit card, don’t apply. Applicants who got their wealth in especially evil ways (as from financing both sides of wars, destroying entire nations for their resources, promoting deadly pharmaceuticals, or engaging in adrenochrome production) will be eligible to receive a genuine Klaus Schwab Galactic Evil Villain Suit to wear in WEF world depopulation planning sessions.

All applicants must have at least 20 evil geniuses on a secret payroll. These may be distributed among companies the applicant owns. News people, entertainment people and politicians who have merely been blackmailed or bribed may not be used as substitutions.

All applicants must have no conscience at all. Any evidence of conscience in an applicant will be grounds for denial of membership. Any emergence of conscience in an established member will be grounds for abrupt termination.

Conditions for Minion-Level WEF membership:

(Important Notes: All non-premium WEF members are Minion-Level regardless of social or economic status. Established WEF Minions may be traded between sponsors, but each must undergo an evaluation by in-house WEF psychologists before the trade is approved. Survival is not guaranteed.)

All previously professional evil Minions applying for secondary tier membership must have a super-villain (Premium Member) sponsor. No exceptions. Professional evil minionism will no longer be the fast track for joining the WEF’s evil minion community.

All applicants must arrive at the interview pre-conditioned for abject servitude. Obedience must be total. Evidence of logical thinking or willful individuality will be grounds for denial.

All applicants must arrive at the interview pre-blackmailed to ensure they remain completely silent about whatever they or their sponsors are actually doing at any given time.

All applicants must be conscience-free and demonstrate an ability to do dastardly deeds at a moment’s notice.

All applicants must prove their willingness to betray their fellow man (for the greater good, of course), display heinous disrespect for all things good (because the WEF has redefined goodness), and demonstrate skills of infiltration and subterfuge (because we are the WEF, and that’s what we do).

All applicants must sign a document declaring they understand that membership in the WEF can be abruptly terminated if the new member fails to please his or her evil sponsor, if the member disappoints Supreme Galactic Commander Klaus Schwab or if the member insults the disturbingly willowy Prophet-of-the-Cyborgs Yuval Harari with questions about whatever insane nonsense he happens to be spewing.

Please note that membership terminations will not be handled by WEF personnel in those cases where the Suicide Queen, Hillary Clinton, has gotten news of damning information that might lead to her arrest.