If she is having an affair, it might be impossible to save the marriage (although some marriages have survived that type of betrayal and become stronger for it). You seem to be a good husband and an attentive dad - a stable women would appreciate those qualities. Do not underestimate the devastation divorce can bring, especially financially. If you were my son, I would advise you to find the strength to do what you can to keep the family together, for their sake as well as yours. Decent women respect a man’s strength, so set your fears aside and take the lead.