Oh my Sheesus God:

::eyes wide, imagining the future::

"HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! Please help me and my son!" ::waves at cars::

::approaching police vehicle slows and its lights come on as it pulls up closer. The officer begins to roll down his window.::

Oh THANK GOD you're here!

"Everything all right sir? What is causing your distress?"

It's my son, sir! ::grabs the boy and brings him close. He puts his head into Dad's pant leg, sobbing::

Someone tried to kidnap my son!

"Where did this happen?"

Just over there! ::motions toward a playground, where a swing is still rocking back and forth::

::the officer nods and calls into his radio for backup. He turns on his lights, parks the vehicle and gets out::

"Is he still here? Which way did you see him go?"

::son whispers to Dad::

My son says he took off into the woods, on the North trail.

::officer nods and bends down, making eye contact with the boy::

"Did you get a good look at him son? Can you describe him for me?"

::son nods, turns back to Dad and whispers into his jeans again::

He says the man was wearing Lego tuxedo, and had Lego pirate eyepatch head.

"OK, son, that's a good description. Was there anything else you noticed? Anything specific like a tattoo?"

::the boy whispers again::

He says that he was a brown Lego.

"What? Brown lego? Are you sure?"

He says he's certain.

"Well, all right then. Hey, what's that on the ground behind you two? Is that a -"

SWORD! ::second officer dives in front of the first, just in time to shield him and take the shot from the pirate pistola::

FUCK MAN! I'M HIT!

I'll call for medical, OFFICER DOWN!

There's no time, McCarthy! Just go get that Lego pirate bastard and save the boy!

Flash to the next scene. Dad is in Lego cuffs while the 2 Lego policemen sit on back of the ambulance with coffees and blankets.McCarthy pats his friend on the back and speaks first

I should have known he tried to blame it on a brown Lego. That was a dead give away. There are no brown Lego pirate faces that come with a cutless.

::Officer 2 turns to him:: There was also the peg leg.

McCarthy turns to him and pulls his own head off, replacing it with a smiling policeman Lego head. "Guess I couldn't see it, I should've taken off my sunglasses... head."

Left it in the car again, McCarthy?

"If you only knew how hard I was blushing."

ANNND SCENE.

I know that all this was very, very stupid, but putting Lego heads on perps is STILL even more stupid.