This may be an unpopular opinion? But I see a different approach to these situations that involve spinning things to assume positive intent that are in your best interest After all, you are wanting to work out anyhow and she isn’t disagreeing about doing so or saying no to that.
Frankly I probably would have subdued my ego and responded “good point about the past ,and this is something I will fix and change”.
And no matter what the next possibility terrible retort is, offer those hurt feelings up to God to resolve, he can help you with them. Probably no one else on earth really can help over a text message because too much information is lost
It avoids the escalation with her and gives you the same healthyish approach to improving your life.
It may also be a good first step to changing behaviors in your relationship. Maybe this will make the space to help you find a path to healing or make it clear if there is not a path to healing.
If it doesn’t turn around and you need to leave the relationship anyhow, you should be healthier by then and you will have learned how to offer up so many frustrations to God. So for you it can be a win-win.
My unrelated story involves my kids. They were sick of me “yelling” at them, so I’ve prayed about it and really reduced that. My daughter who used to sneak out and smoke pot with her friends doesn’t do that anymore. I’m confident that behavior change for her wouldn’t have happened without my behavior change first. I’m less stressed about my kids now too.
It is no guarantee that she will never fall back in that trap, but she’s able to be more honest with me now and we have better conversations because she isn’t in a fear/frustration mode.
I love this post. I was trying to figure out how to tell him her intent is probably not malicious, her delivery just sucks. Instead of focusing on how her words made you feel, think about the message she was trying to deliver.
This may be an unpopular opinion? But I see a different approach to these situations that involve spinning things to assume positive intent that are in your best interest After all, you are wanting to work out anyhow and she isn’t disagreeing about doing so or saying no to that.
Frankly I probably would have subdued my ego and responded “good point about the past ,and this is something I will fix and change”.
And no matter what the next possibility terrible retort is, offer those hurt feelings up to God to resolve, he can help you with them. Probably no one else on earth really can help over a text message because too much information is lost
It avoids the escalation with her and gives you the same healthyish approach to improving your life.
It may also be a good first step to changing behaviors in your relationship. Maybe this will make the space to help you find a path to healing or make it clear if there is not a path to healing.
If it doesn’t turn around and you need to leave the relationship anyhow, you should be healthier by then and you will have learned how to offer up so many frustrations to God. So for you it can be a win-win.
My unrelated story involves my kids. They were sick of me “yelling” at them, so I’ve prayed about it and really reduced that. My daughter who used to sneak out and smoke pot with her friends doesn’t do that anymore. I’m confident that behavior change for her wouldn’t have happened without my behavior change first. I’m less stressed about my kids now too. It is no guarantee that she will never fall back in that trap, but she’s able to be more honest with me now and we have better conversations because she isn’t in a fear/frustration mode.
I love this post. I was trying to figure out how to tell him her intent is probably not malicious, her delivery just sucks. Instead of focusing on how her words made you feel, think about the message she was trying to deliver.