It took me a while.

I tried, scrunched my brow, then tried again. Then I skipped. I scrolled down, and I read the top comment.

The comment was short, brief, and apparently quite sincere. Lots of upvotes! my goodness! Almost as many upvotes as the actual post itself (yes, it had upvotes!)

So, I tried again. I went to the top, and tried to reread.

I'm no Samuel Johnson, but I must admit, to me it came across rather .... jangly. If that's a word.

But if ever there was a weave that was wove like a wave, then this was the wavey weave that wove it.

However, I'm old fashioned, I guess. I like iterature as much as the next amphibian, but somehow, "just like the BOSS" didn't quite ring all that true.

Alack! So short of attention span am I... I abandoned the good, noble text once again and dove back in to the comments.

Man, those comments. What shall I say? Tasty? Delicious? Intoxicating?

Comment after comment, after comment. Ah, so gentle the frogs! So willing to sympathize with the OP! So generous in wanting to see potential and good, to encourage a fellow froggy pepe.

So many entertaining comments.... The good-natured. The moderate and calm. The quizzical. The subtle and the direct, both!

It's not every day that one comes across a post that is such natural, healthy fodder for a chart-topping selection of high quality comments that manifest the very best qualities of froggdom.

Yes! Questioning. Patient. Self-deprecating. Direct and gentle both. And a good helping of "No nuts please, we're frogs!"

I confess. I enjoyed this post so much (even though I still, at the time of this writing, am unable to read all the way through it without reaching for a valium or shaking my head to dispel the fogging sensation that assails one upon engagement).

And, for some reason, maybe its the midnight air, or maybe its that I've been imbibing epic quantities of Trump Wins and Maga nods, or maybe, well, I don't know what.

But with all the epicness that the post (huh. "post"! Such a humble term for such a masterwork of contortion!) ... with all the epicness that the post in question gives rise to, not to mention the OP's stubborn insistence on rebutting each and every criticism, query or gentle prodding, I found myself with no alternative except....

To NOMINATE this post and its attendant commentary as a collective SHIT POST of the YEAR!!!! . . . .

(Notice the random dots and ALL CAPS used here to honor the style of the frog that that drafted the shitpost of the century? Yes!)

Trump Explaining That He Kept Hillary Out Of Jail Is HUGE To Me. . . Why ? Lets Take A Look Because Its A Massive World Stage Here (Madison Square Garden) While He References This BOMB. . .

(https://greatawakening.win/p/199OTtqMsQ/trump-explaining-that-he-kept-hi/)

What, you ask? What? What's so epic?

Just look at that title. Trump + Hillary + Jail + Massive World Stage (here?) + Madison Sq Garden + Bomb + .....

Has anyone every jam packed as many different topics and references in to a single post subject line?

No, for shame. This is Art, my frens. This is talent.

No, not for the faint of heart is this apparent "ramble". You thought it made no sense? Why, does the Eiffel Tower make sense? Does Mt. Rushmore? Does the Taj Mahal make sense? Then why would you look for this giant of a post to ....make sense?

Sense is for mere mortals. Sense is for the hoypoloi! This post is an epic of mammoth proportions.

Shit POST of the YEAR??? No, SHIT POST Of All Time!

'tis the SPOAT, I say. The SPOAT.

Folks remember where they were when Armstrong first pretended to pretend to walk on the moon. Folks remember where they were when Martin Luther Jn said "I have a Dream!" Folks remember where they were when The Don Served Fries at MacDonalds.

So too, may you ever remember and recall where you were when you first read the SPOAT.

"And they shall count me blessed, that I saw and read (well, tried to read) the SPOAT with my own two eyes."

Yes, frogs. Not every day. No, only once or twice in a generation does one ever see a shit post so epically emphatic, so tortuously enticing, so enigmatically evasive, and yet, so approachable as to elicit the .... most frog-like of commentary.

Yes, there I was, on the board, when I first read the phenomenon that was konadog's ode to Raiklin: post and comments and all. (No disrespect...)

May the good Lord grant you peace.

And may all shit posts - intended or not - aspire to such lofty leaps of greatness.

Adieu!

• Note: This is a shitpost

Addendum: This is a shitpost about a (nominated) shitpost, so it's a metashitpost (Patent pending).