I feel for you and those saying get a new wife are likely single and young - or drunk. Have you tried having a calm and open conversation, or even asking her for the next four years, to look at the actions as opposed to the gaslighting (of course, not saying it that way) and try to take an objective, non emotional stance? Then after this happens, her opinions have not changed, you would accept it? I know it’s a long shot, but it shows you value her and you care.