The Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Panicked sources within the nation's capital expressed fear that the entire governmental bureaucracy that had been methodically built up over the last century was about to be dismantled by an Indian guy and an autistic African American obsessed with rockets.
"At publishing time, sources confirmed that the Department of Homeland Security was being replaced by one hot chick with a shotgun."
KEK!
KEK Indeed