You are only talking to what amounts to a tape recorder. Sometimes you can have fun outing it as such. For example, I get robocalls hawking new Medicare benefits. "Do you have any other medical problems?" "Yes, I am decapitated." "Okay, we can get you started with one of our representatives." My favorite is when they ask whether I "have Medicare Part A or B?" I answer, "No, but I have a PENIS. Do you want to talk about THAT?" Remarkably, that terminates the call. Very reliably. Doesn't stop the calls, unfortunately. It doesn't help that the robot hands you off to a boiler-room in Delhi. "Hello, my name is Robert, and I am from Bafflegabincorporated." "Say what?" "Bfflgbncrprtd." And then if you string one of them out, they will curse at you. Pretty remarkable customer satisfaction strategy.

But the major platforms are just in it for their convenience, not for the customer's satisfaction. What can better say "We don't give a fuck about you," than when they demonstrate it from their behavior. They make it impossible to connect with any human being. I call this "anti-communication": the policy and practice of preventing communication. In my effort to circumvent an unproductive phone tree robot, I will call just about any other phone number on record for a given organization, simply in order to connect with a PERSON. And when I do, I ask them to connect me with the department I need to talk to. This is atrocious customer service, and I hope that this will become a competitive discriminator. "Give us a call. We have a human operator who speaks English clearly." Do you think that would sell?