I think I'm losing it, frens.... With all the shit happening personally my mental health is on a knife edge tbh. I'm getting irrational, angry, emotional over stupid shit, and although my heart seems strong, the rest of me is hurting daily.
I'm living in what was once a nice house and is now looking like a bombsite. It's bringing by a lot of bad memories from the fire I had 9 years ago, which also forces me to remember my late wife. My ptsd is back. Worst of all is there is little I can do about most of this right now, as I'm playing hurry up and wait with the insurance companies and contractors, and my brain and body feel paralysed to act. Feel like I'm failing my family cuz I'm not functioning like I should...
So yeah... Could use some of God's help because I can't do this without him...
Peace to you, Lupinate. God give you grace. May Jesus give you the insight you need to see things from His perspective, and the answers that will bring a resolution and an end to these troubles.
I know how you feel, and that's not a pleasantry. I know this because I have lived it, and although the circumstances were not exactly the same the effect on me was identical. But here I am, still standing, and I'm okay. But I learned something in that dark valley. People fuss about where God was when they were suffering. They wonder where He went when they were rocked by perplexity and doubt and nothing made sense. I know I did, but then I realized he was right there with me the whole time. He was with me in my suffering. He didn't go anywhere. The Lord of heaven and earth actually chose to sit with me in the dark, and I was just too focused on my pain to notice.
Acknowledge him. Drop any accusations or bitter thoughts and remember that He loves you. Jesus doesn't have to cross a universe to get to you. Believe me, He is closer to you right now than your own breath. Faith, my friend––I know you have it. I pray it doesn't fail, but I don't think it will any more than the apostle Peter's failed when Jesus prayed for him, and he gave us His name so we could pray for each other and get the same results.
Dark nights don't last forever. There is a beautiful sunrise waiting for you. May you have peace until you get there.