My son is quite the musician. Plays drums, tenor sax, bass and a little Guitar and keys.He’s working with on his vocals. He’s 15 and a freshman in his school band. This year, he composed 2 songs to be played at the winter and spring concerts. The winter song never got approval to be played by the band conductor. My frustration begins because other students were allowed to perform very under rehearsed pieces that they didn’t compose in their own and they turned out terrible during performance for whatever reason. I feel bad for the students but the band director let them Put themselves in that situation. But also did not approve my son to perform his song for some unknown reason?
Fast forward to this spring. My son has worked very hard on a new song for 6 months. 17 instruments. Finds 17 members to play his song and rehearse it several times. He makes modifications in response to her critique. HES A FRESHMAN.
Concert night arrives and he’s approved to perform the song with his group by seemingly a bet small Margin of approval by the band director. She introduces the song, reprimanding him in front of a Full audience that she doesn’t like his intro as a conductor to the song. He in turn Introduces his very serious song with a joke and the beginning is sort of spoken over for a minute before people Catch on that the song has started.
So 2 nights later is the annual band banquet awards. She gives out approximately 30 awards. No recognition for my son, a freshman who composed his own song, got a group of approximately 17 people to perform his original composition and the performance sounded very much like the AI score that he composed. I’m so proud of him and I’m so disappointed in his band director for failing to recognize the enormous effort and leadership that required on my son’s part. Am I wrong?
Yes and no.
No you're not wrong, because the teacher should help every student advance their studies, and it seems this teacher smothers your son's talents instead of developing them.
And yes, you're overreacting, because I guarantee you don't know the entire story. Think about a high school basketball coach with 20 average kids plus a high school Shaquille O'Neill. Even the best coach would have a challenge coaching everyone equally, and Young Shaq might deserve far more attention than he gets, and all the average kids are in danger of being demotivated by comparison or simple lack of attention. What's a coach to do? There's lots of answers but none that are perfect for everyone. No teacher and no school has as an infinite range or infinite time for everyone.
And school is about lessons. Just like bad bosses and bad colleagues, your son will eventually have to deal with stupid people further up the chain. Use this as a lesson for him to overcome. He has alternatives: he can form a club or get local gigs. Every once in a while I see high school kids playing violin or even a quartet at tourist spots. If the place is busy it's good money and better than a typical teenage job. And a valuable lesson either way.
Also, if this looks like a situation that might be frustrating long term, set up an appointment with the teacher. For all you know, the teacher's apparent punishment and sadism covers the heart of a Mr Miyagi doling out painful lessons that will pay off later. Karate Kid's wax on / wax off was torture but time and perspective made it valuable. OK, that might be optimistic, but you can't go wrong with at least hearing the teacher's perspective, and you'll get a fuller picture.
Good luck, and congrats on having such a talented son. He'll do fine.
Thank you for your perspective!
I love this advice. Very wise and true.