Drink plenty of water before going to bed if you get drunk, and have a blast :)
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I hope you get to do it. The Rockies are indeed spectacular, particularly the Grand Tetons. As for your wife's fear of flying, mMaybe looking into a cruise? Although, I imagine the cost would be enormous.
Yeah. Once upon a time we looked at steerage on a cargo ship, but it was a couple of weeks just to get there and it wasn't exactly luxury accomodation. Haven't looked recently though.