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102
AMA: My name is John. I am one of the few that have survived this dangerous pandemic for more than 400 days. Ask Me Anything!
posted 5 years ago by DisturbedHaiku 5 years ago by DisturbedHaiku +102 / -0

I will provide whatever help I can to those who are curious

39 comments share
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Comments (39)
sorted by:
▲ 13 ▼
– Shadow1223 13 points 5 years ago +13 / -0

Can you briefly describe your experience with a haiku?

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▲ 23 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 23 points 5 years ago +23 / -0

i stare down virus

no mask no jab no give fuck

i dodge all infection

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▲ 11 ▼
– deleted 11 points 5 years ago +11 / -0
▲ 12 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 12 points 5 years ago +12 / -0

I had to look those words up and I still don’t know what they mean

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▲ 2 ▼
– SuckaFree 2 points 5 years ago +2 / -0

Bloody brilliant!!!!

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▲ 18 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 18 points 5 years ago +18 / -0

covid comes to town

flu leaves like a little bitch

few flu with wu flu

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▲ 3 ▼
– Shadow1223 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0

???

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▲ 2 ▼
– Feelsgoodman 2 points 5 years ago +2 / -0

This post, comments and haikus are making my day!?

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▲ 13 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 13 points 5 years ago +13 / -0

super virus here

trillions years evolution

blocked by walmart mask

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▲ 2 ▼
– Shadow1223 2 points 5 years ago +2 / -0

Beautiful!

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▲ 8 ▼
– 94f450d 8 points 5 years ago +8 / -0

As a fellow survivor having not worn a mask once or taken any precautions,im still waiting to catch it.

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▲ 6 ▼
– TNBanjoMan 6 points 5 years ago +6 / -0

I too have managed to survive WITHOUT the use of any experimental drug or quarantine. Follow me for more survival tips! I HAVE had a lot more practice time on the various stringed instruments I play, so that's good... AND I taught my wife how to play the autoharp, so now we get to play music together. In fact we're both playing tomorrow for a memorial service...not a covid death, but natural causes.

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▲ 6 ▼
– TruthbtwnPR 6 points 5 years ago +6 / -0

Have you taken hydroxychloroquine the natural way utilizing gin and tonic?

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▲ 8 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 8 points 5 years ago +8 / -0

I take it suppositorily

The gin and tonic, not the HCQ

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▲ 5 ▼
– eel003 5 points 5 years ago +5 / -0

Now that we are decimated and have time to ponder frivolously about the great mystery's, I have but one question...

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?

Just curious...asking for a friend.

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▲ 6 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 6 points 5 years ago +6 / -0

You want a real Tongue Twister: try saying “Jewish Sushi” three times

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▲ 15 ▼
– eel003 15 points 5 years ago +15 / -0

That's easy:

Gefilte fish

Gefilte fish

Gefilte fish

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▲ 6 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 6 points 5 years ago +6 / -0

Best use of an upvote I have ever used :)

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▲ 3 ▼
– Jesko603 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0

As a fellow survivor, I’d be curious as to what hobbies or skills you learned during the shutdowns?

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▲ 11 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 11 points 5 years ago +11 / -0

When I wake up in the morning, the very first thing I do is masturbate over a picture of Dr. Fauci. It may not do much, but you can’t argue with the results

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▲ 3 ▼
– charlesufarley 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0

When?

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▲ 4 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 4 points 5 years ago +4 / -0

When what?

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▲ 3 ▼
– Baseballgirl 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0

I believe Biden is not Biden but somebody playing his role because I have seen videos of him wearing a mask plus he looks absolutely different even with face lift. What you say?

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▲ 8 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 8 points 5 years ago +8 / -0

Biden is not real. Instead of testing the vaccines on monkeys, they put a Biden mask on the monkey subjects and put them in front of CNN to see if anyone can tell a difference. So far passing with flying monkey colors

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▲ 3 ▼
– deleted 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0
▲ 10 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 10 points 5 years ago +10 / -0

One more tip about masks. I cringe when I see people out with those awful blue surgical masks, when my elite medical training tells me that the most effective masks can be found in the checkout line at Old Navy. Given their military heritage, this should not be surprising to any of you.

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▲ 3 ▼
– deleted 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0
▲ 6 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 6 points 5 years ago +6 / -0

Too true. Another secret that has kept me alive is my reliance on the life-saving tools of duct tape and WD-40. I apply duct tape to the interior of my Assault Mask to keep any virus from escaping from my mouth of death, and WD-40 to the outside to make sure those pesky little bastards just slide right off before they can enter

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▲ 7 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 7 points 5 years ago +7 / -0

Great question. I am very suspicious that my government actually wants me to get Covid. They say stay six feet away. That is a trap....I stay 7 FEET!

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▲ 7 ▼
– hundro 7 points 5 years ago +7 / -0

I agree with you that govt is misleading us regarding social distancing. I think it ties in with the saying "words matter". My theory is that the 6ft distance is not horizontal, it's vertical. The dead are safe being buried 6ft under, but I have been making a point of only travelling via a helium balloon elevated lawnchair. It's challenging, particularly on windy days, but no covid yet.

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▲ 6 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 6 points 5 years ago +6 / -0

You are the hero we need

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▲ 5 ▼
– hundro 5 points 5 years ago +5 / -0

No, YOU are!

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▲ 8 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 8 points 5 years ago +8 / -0

It’s awesome that you recognized that. I thought we would have to go back and forth quite a bit on this

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▲ 7 ▼
– hundro 7 points 5 years ago +7 / -0

The promotional brochures made it pretty clear.

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▲ 3 ▼
– basilpesto 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0

How did you ensure the safety of your family during zoom calls? The screen was definitely closer than 6 ft right?

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▲ 3 ▼
– DisturbedHaiku [S] 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0

Great question. My wife and I have developed a system of trickery to confuse Covid. When I sit down for a Zoom call, I yell out loudly “I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS CALL, I WILL NOT WEAR A MASK.”....in reality, I have stealthily slipped on a nude-colored mask covered in Velcro. The covid virus, sensing an easy target, descend on my trap mask like mosquitos to a bug zapper

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▲ 1 ▼
– Feelsgoodman 1 point 5 years ago +1 / -0

Lmao??

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▲ 3 ▼
– deleted 3 points 5 years ago +3 / -0
▲ 2 ▼
– ThisIsHowItStarts 2 points 5 years ago +2 / -0

THIS - best all day - Please sticky

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