Lol, I'm going to send this to my mom, she's based as hell, and my brother has been brainwashed at college, she was just on the phone with me the other day trying to send me all of her property and insurance information, she said, I still want him to get his half, but you're going to need to take care of this. I'm the little sister. She used to favor him, now she doesn't trust him with anything, she told me she hopes he can be deprogrammed.
Oooo taking the reins from the first born is no light matter. Prayers for you. The struggles of family dealings can get horrifically intense, especially when someone feels slighted by losing the control their birthright afford them. See also Esau and Jacob Genesis 27.
“From that time on, Esau hated Jacob because their father had given Jacob the blessing. And Esau began to scheme: “I will soon be mourning my father’s death. Then I will kill my brother, Jacob.”
Genesis 27:41 NLT
I feel ya, fren. I'm in the same position with my younger brother and his bitch wife. I always kind of knew I'd be the one my parents turn to, but damn it sucks to have it openly acknowledge it.
My mom did the same with me (middle child) & my sister (youngest child) with her estate, she named us as her executors of her estate not our older brother. But I think that’s because we were closer to her than our brother, and because of things that happened growing up. I haven’t spoken to my brother (truthfully I hate even saying he’s my brother, he did horrible things to me growing up and I can’t forgive or forget, and no way was I going to allow him near my children) in probably over 30 years except when our mom was ill & passed. I told my sister I refused to let him stay or come over to moms house with us while he came to see mom right before she passed. She agreed, she knows what happened to me growing up. Anyway he wasn’t really happy to find out that he had no say in anything to do with decisions with how the docs treated mom or afterwards. Sister & I made decisions on arrangements with the funeral home to have mom cremated as was her wish. While mom was in ICU, my brother stayed one whole night with her, and the nurse told us that he was a pain in the ass to them all night and prefer he didn’t stay all night again (of course she said it in a nicer way, but basically he tried to be a know it all, and tell the nurses how to do their jobs).
I'm sorry to hear that, truly. Fortunately my brother isn't that much of a tool, if any at all, he's just stubborn, and we know better than to try, I'm sure he will figure it out on his own, it has a lot to do with his long term girlfriend, but I think he must know deep down since he hasn't married her after 5 years. He just has that personality that we know better, the more you try and tell him something, the more he'll go the opposite direction.
She might want to consider at neutral 3rd party/trustee. Yes, it costs money, but you have no idea how bad it can get between siblings. My mom's family was ripped apart. She could name you a co-trustee, but it gets you out of the line if fire should something go awry or if he just decides to have a temper tantrum.
That’s a good idea if you’re afraid some or all the family will become idiots after you pass. My friends mom did that, she had a cousin be the executor, and my friend was glad because she didn’t have to deal as much with her sisters (ugh, they are horrible to my friend) even though they all live on the same property/land (spaced about an acre or two apart). And she liked her cousin, they got along well growing up and she trusted him. About the only thing she wanted after her mom passed was that none of their husbands could have possession of the land. Not even when any of the siblings pass away, she wanted it to stay in the family, not the husbands. Her husband isn’t greedy and he agreed with her, but her siblings husbands are greedy. Asking for what their kids will get after her mom passed.
Thanks for the info actually, I have no desire for a turf war, my father passed when we were young and I saw how "family" turned into vultures with his estate, it got ugly for sure.
Lol, I'm going to send this to my mom, she's based as hell, and my brother has been brainwashed at college, she was just on the phone with me the other day trying to send me all of her property and insurance information, she said, I still want him to get his half, but you're going to need to take care of this. I'm the little sister. She used to favor him, now she doesn't trust him with anything, she told me she hopes he can be deprogrammed.
Oooo taking the reins from the first born is no light matter. Prayers for you. The struggles of family dealings can get horrifically intense, especially when someone feels slighted by losing the control their birthright afford them. See also Esau and Jacob Genesis 27.
There's no ''birthright'' afforded him.
Her mother owns her shit.
That communist doesn't.
End of story.
That’s true it’s mom’s right to choose, doesn’t mean son will take it well living happy and free from resentment.
Fuck him. There's a reason nobody can stand him already.
I feel ya, fren. I'm in the same position with my younger brother and his bitch wife. I always kind of knew I'd be the one my parents turn to, but damn it sucks to have it openly acknowledge it.
My mom did the same with me (middle child) & my sister (youngest child) with her estate, she named us as her executors of her estate not our older brother. But I think that’s because we were closer to her than our brother, and because of things that happened growing up. I haven’t spoken to my brother (truthfully I hate even saying he’s my brother, he did horrible things to me growing up and I can’t forgive or forget, and no way was I going to allow him near my children) in probably over 30 years except when our mom was ill & passed. I told my sister I refused to let him stay or come over to moms house with us while he came to see mom right before she passed. She agreed, she knows what happened to me growing up. Anyway he wasn’t really happy to find out that he had no say in anything to do with decisions with how the docs treated mom or afterwards. Sister & I made decisions on arrangements with the funeral home to have mom cremated as was her wish. While mom was in ICU, my brother stayed one whole night with her, and the nurse told us that he was a pain in the ass to them all night and prefer he didn’t stay all night again (of course she said it in a nicer way, but basically he tried to be a know it all, and tell the nurses how to do their jobs).
I'm sorry to hear that, truly. Fortunately my brother isn't that much of a tool, if any at all, he's just stubborn, and we know better than to try, I'm sure he will figure it out on his own, it has a lot to do with his long term girlfriend, but I think he must know deep down since he hasn't married her after 5 years. He just has that personality that we know better, the more you try and tell him something, the more he'll go the opposite direction.
Yeah that's called the devil.
Truth revulses him.
She might want to consider at neutral 3rd party/trustee. Yes, it costs money, but you have no idea how bad it can get between siblings. My mom's family was ripped apart. She could name you a co-trustee, but it gets you out of the line if fire should something go awry or if he just decides to have a temper tantrum.
That’s a good idea if you’re afraid some or all the family will become idiots after you pass. My friends mom did that, she had a cousin be the executor, and my friend was glad because she didn’t have to deal as much with her sisters (ugh, they are horrible to my friend) even though they all live on the same property/land (spaced about an acre or two apart). And she liked her cousin, they got along well growing up and she trusted him. About the only thing she wanted after her mom passed was that none of their husbands could have possession of the land. Not even when any of the siblings pass away, she wanted it to stay in the family, not the husbands. Her husband isn’t greedy and he agreed with her, but her siblings husbands are greedy. Asking for what their kids will get after her mom passed.
Thanks for the info actually, I have no desire for a turf war, my father passed when we were young and I saw how "family" turned into vultures with his estate, it got ugly for sure.