My son married a lovely, smart girl who was raised in a liberal midwestern family that by all appearances are typical upper middle class. Father is CEO of a foundation, the mother an RN that works with a local family practice. Wonderful people. Charming, bright, educated, hard working and love the good life. Oh, and are liberals, important point.
The mother is convinced that Covid is truely a deadly disease because she has seen so many people die from it. Her husband, a big strapping guy spent over a month in the hospital from it. So, to her everything in life is Covid. It's the central focus of every discussion. Because she's a nurse, she feels she's the one with the most knowledge about this deadly disease and at liberty to set some standards when it comes to any get togethers.
This weekend my son and wife were planning a birthday party for their only child. The wife miscarried 2 months ago after being fully vaxed. But no problem because her mother said the two aren't related because she's the nurse and knows. My wife and I were planning on attending the party until my son called this morning and said, "Dad, don't shoot the messenger". You can guess what was coming. His mother-in-law was requesting all that attend the party be Covid tested first. I thought for a moment and said that we wouldn't be coming then. He said, but Dad you can get one of those quickie tests at CVS no problem. I said why would I, I'm not sick?
Then I said, listen son. My life doesn't revolve around Covid. I asked, when were you last tested for smallpox? polio? You do realize that people who think everyone needs to test when they are not sick are suffering from a mental illness? The science shows that the people who carry the highest Covid viral load are those fully vaccinated, not those unvaccinated. My wife and I are not vaccinated nor will we be. We will not be pushed into getting a test that isn't accurate when we don't feel sick either. It's a matter of principle. We had no problem being there because we don't care if they're vaccinated or not. It's a personal matter and that's it.
I said we will see our grand daughter some other time when they're not around to get our imaginary cootie bugs. Sorry, but I will not be bullied, pressured or anything else to satisfy someone else's insecurity and need for control. We don't roll like that. We love you, your wife and our grand daughter so we'll see you some other time.
"But Dad, Betty (not her real name) is concerned because she has seen so many friends die." Son, that's because her friends were never given a script for HCQ or Ivermectin early when they first got sick. Their doctors never told them to take Vit D, C, and zinc. Then, when they got to the local hospital they were given Remdesivir like her husband. Probably, one of the worst things they could have been given. It destroys kidneys. Betty thinks she knows what's best but I assure you, she knows nothing of the science. She follows protocols which are wrong. Exasperated, he says I hope this doesn't destroy my daughter's relationship with you and mom. It won't but we draw the line now because I don't set conditions for them nor should they for us.
Covid destroys minds more than any other part of the body. I won't be bullied regardless, nor will I or my wife give in to pressure. Starting down that road then leads to show your vax card to enter. No thanks. We're just a couple of loving grandparents who have their standards, their morals and their common sense. I won't give them up even if it means I'll miss seeing my lovely grand daughter. Sorry, I don't drink Kool Aid. Never liked the stuff nor will I in the future.
Get an at home. Dip the stick in distilled or boiled water. Bring neg results. Easy peasy
Right...but you have still complied with someone else's demands that you be tested - giving them the power. It's better to set your line in the sand and not go one step further.
One of my friends is Japanese. His wife is fullon like just came over Japanese he is second generation. They requires everybody to take off their shoes when I go there and wear these silly little faggot slippers. We also eat at tables that are like a foot off the ground. I am a big man and my feet are the feet of a man who does gardening and hiking drunk and barefoot. I hate it. But in their house I respect their wishes. My friend is the king of his domain as I am of mine. I see this as no different. Or having to wear a jacket and noose when I go to a steak house by me. The owner of the steak house sets the rules for his kingdom, I am avisitor.
At least for now we are still able to own private property and I will respect those that ow. That property just as they will respect my rules at mine. Like no fucking starbucks or soy shit in my house.
Well it's the queen's mother setting the conditions by which I can visit my grandchild. Shortly after my son's marriage they came to visit and her parents came too. We got together at a super overpriced restaurant that my son had asked that I make reservations at. I did and when the queen's mother asked that we get a third $100 bottle of wine and oh, she didn't like domestic Chardonnay but wanted the French instead which was even more expensive I looked at my son across the table and saw him nodding his head yes. So I made the second mistake that evening, the first being agreeing to go to this pretentious burger joint. Bottom line it cost me $600 that night. But I learned a lesson. You don't give in with this woman. So, it's not about observing a cultural norm with her, it's she's spoiled and wants to get her way. I'm not going down that road again.
Bless you for standing your ground. People like that are insufferable. Hoping your son can do a special bday get together for you and your wife.
My question is why did you pay for everyone's dinner? You pay for yours & your wife's, and so do the other couples. Heck they are the ones that wanted to eat there in the first place. If she wanted the expensive ass wine, then that's on her tab not yours, she is the one ordering it. You could have just said to her to go ahead and order all the wine she wants as long as she is paying for it.
Sorry I don't have many filters, lol. I'm sure my husband sometimes cringes wondering when my mouth will spurt something that is controversial in public to someone he works with. He would be like don't mention this or that, and I say I make no promises, lol. Sometimes I will make it easy on him and not go with him to certain gatherings because I know there will be someone there that I may not be able to hold back my comments to.
Yes your line in the sand is to acquiesce to the wishes of your host which is respectful. You are not being forced...you willingly comply. I bet the food served on that short table is delicious and well worth the sacrifice!
It's not about how easy the test. My son even said to just come and they will assume you had the test. I said what if she asks and I say no? I'd rather see my granddaughter without all the theatrics and pretending to please a controlling woman.
I suggest you reread the post. It was about integrity and strength of conviction, something your solution would nullify.
If I go to a petting zoo I wouldn't walk into a pen and start running around screaming. Don't scare the sheep. A man can have conviction and still say please and thank you.
Glas I can you make you smile during these trying times.