A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she found a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.
Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards, out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.
The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. The doctor walked into her room. Laughing hysterically, he said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!"
As he began to compose himself, he asked, "So, how did you break your leg??"
I went to the doctor and said, "Doc, I haven't been feeling too good lately. I get up every morning, I go to the bathroom, I look in the mirror, and I throw up. What's wrong with me?"
He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight's perfect."
BOOM
I tell ya, I don't get no respect. When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
BOOM
My wife signed me up for a bridge class. I jump off next Tuesday.
I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
If this happens here, I’ll be the first imprisoned for life for laughing. I love a good joke.
A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she found a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself. Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards, out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg. The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. The doctor walked into her room. Laughing hysterically, he said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!"
As he began to compose himself, he asked, "So, how did you break your leg??"
From Rodney Dangerfield --
I went to the doctor and said, "Doc, I haven't been feeling too good lately. I get up every morning, I go to the bathroom, I look in the mirror, and I throw up. What's wrong with me?"
He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight's perfect."
BOOM
I tell ya, I don't get no respect. When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
BOOM
My wife signed me up for a bridge class. I jump off next Tuesday.
BOOM
I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
I tell ya, I don't get no respect. For Father's Day, my kid bought be a t-shirt ... with a target on the back.
That is FABULOUS! I would be broken up too.
Jimmy Carr's most offensive joke, by his definition.
I'm surprised he didn't get cancelled over it - or at least them try to cancel him.